New Age Baby, New Age Bathwater: Which is Which

Let’s throw out the bathwater, but keep the baby.

It’s not that my spirituality has tapered off. In fact, it’s deepened over time.

But, back in the day, I used to look upon the whole world of holistic health and alternative spirituality with starry eyes. I would encounter a woo-woo claim and default to credibility. Now, I lead with a “Hmm, maybe, we’ll see.”

Much snake oil is involved, my friends. Much, much snake oil. For sale. For a high price. It’s not all snake oil! But a lot of it is.

The disillusionment can be enough to make you wanna drain the whole snake-oily tub.

But the thing is, there is a baby in those oily suds! So let’s get him outta there.

First, I’ll point out the nasty old water. Next, we’ll rescue the kid.

(Most of the Amazon affiliate links in this post are books I love and that have helped me gain the perspectives I currently hold.)

Bathwater: Food Rules and Diets

Let’s face it: the wellness industry is obsessed with our weight.

I’m old enough now that I’ve seen countless food rules and diets come and go, and if I’m honest, I’ve tried most of them.

Now, though, I’ve learned many things.

Such as:

• We are sold the story that weight loss is about health, when really, it’s almost always about fitting a thin ideal.
• And anyway, data very clearly illustrate that diets don’t work for weight loss, and are in fact, in the long term, the best predictor of weight gain.
• All this to say that the diet industry makes tons of money, and gives us nothing but grief in return.
• In my personal experience (and probably yours too), any day I’m following a diet is a day I’m not having much fun – just to clarify, that is a precious day of my mysterious and beautiful life. Which could, for all I know, be my last.
• And anyway, my body is not for anyone else! It’s for me. To experience the world from. And it feels best when it’s had some yummy food.

Baby: Your Body’s Wisdom

But you know what is really, truly good for you? Tuning into and honoring your body’s wisdom. And your body is indeed wise. It gets hungry when you need food, feels tired when you need to sleep, and lets you know when it will be good for you to move. Over time, the more you honor your body’s nudges, the better you get at hearing and trusting yourself, which will in turn support self-love, self-approval, and sustainable well-being.

Spending time outside, breathing consciously, dancing, and doing yoga can all help you inhabit your body and listen to its wisdom. Also, this book:

Bathwater: The Large Majority of Supplements

Oh, I hate to admit it. I don’t even want to think about all the money I’ve wasted.

But look, there’s data. Multivitamins don’t work. Magnesium supplements don’t work for much. Maybe probiotic tablets work? Certain herbs, in certain formulas, will work for certain things. But others can harm!

The thing is, the supplement industry isn’t regulated. So it’s sort of dangerous to take your chances. Even seemingly reliable brands are exposed for having legitimately not great stuff in them sort of a lot. And if there’s no scientific reason to take them, why risk it?

Generally, getting your nutrients from food is the best way to go. If you have a known deficiency, maybe you could talk to a doctor about supplementing that one thing. But otherwise, the science just doesn’t support the kind of supplementation many of us have been buying into – literally – for decades.

Baby: Nature’s Healing Magic and the Power of Belief

On the other hand, spending time in nature does heal us. We can feel it does, first of all, but also, science backs us up on this.

And, if you grow your own fresh herbs, fruits, and/or vegetables, just the gardening part alone heals you, but then throw that stuff into your meals and snacks and you’re getting even more benefits. I’d say it’s your relationship with the earth and plant spirits, along with all that healthy yumminess. (Science wouldn’t phrase it that way, but tomayto / tomahto.)

What’s more, the placebo effect is an amazing and powerful thing. Believe something is healing you, and it usually will, at least a little, but oftentimes a lot. And I mean in literal, measurable ways. Just how it does this, science can’t explain.

So, is this what we’ve been calling magic all this time? I’d say it’s a big part of it, yes. What else is a ritual than an affirmation of belief that something is healing us? Or a way of opening up to positive possibilities that didn’t seem to be there before?

Bathwater: Proprietary and “Only” Practices

Nope, nope, nope, and nope. The minute someone tells me their coven is the only one that works actual magic, their healing technique is the only one that heals, or their program is the only one that can teach you how to really meditate, I know it’s a sham.

If any blog, video, speaker, teacher, or healer starts out with how misguided everyone else is, how they possess a secret that will solve all your problems (that they will share with you for a fee), or how you’ve been doing it all wrong all along, forget it. It’s fake.

It’s not only fake, it’s detrimental. Because the goal is to get you to mistrust your own intuition and power. Why? So you’ll hand your authority over to them. And if you do, I’ll tell you what’s next. Your own starring role in the next big cult doc on HBO. (Or, more likely, just a bunch of your precious time, money, and happiness down the tubes.)

Baby: Prayer, Ritual, Meditation, and Other Spiritual Modalities You – Personally – Like

On the other hand, do prayer, ritual, and meditation work? And what about other stuff, like reiki, astrology, tarot, and feng shui?  For me, they do. Depending on the form of practice or the source. And this brings up an important point.

Try stuff you’re drawn to. See if it works for you. If it does, keep doing it. And if it doesn’t, stop.

Maybe one type of meditation works great for you, and another one is difficult to get into. Maybe you love Chinese astrology, but western astrology just doesn’t speak to you. Great.

Or, maybe you try a little of everything and you’re like, “Meh? Not into it.” Fine. Go do a crossword puzzle.

I see spirituality as a form of creativity. Like, does it inspire me? Does it connect me to my joy? Does it help me make my life more beautiful? Does it provide insight into my situation, or the human condition? Yes? Then I’ll keep it. Otherwise, forget it, what’s the point.

Bathwater: Obsessing About Toxins, Mainstream Medicine, and Food

Oh geez. As a neurotic and high strung 18-year-old child, I moved from a small town to Los Angeles. Well ok, it was Pasadena to start.

The point is, when I came into contact with cultural and spiritual creatives in the big city, I was impressed by their metropolitan elegance. At the same time, I was so ready to mistrust the mainstream. I had zero inoculation against the anti-vaxxers and the toxin-obsessed. They told me non-organic food would kill me. They told me antibiotics would ruin my natural immunity, like, immediately. Plus, they said I needed to sage everything so I wouldn’t get spiritual cooties. And I believed every word.

Over time, I began to notice that these supposed kernels of health wisdom were making me sick. The worry and fear associated with toxins of all varieties was draining my mental power and tying my stomach in knots.

Not to mention, so much of it is baloney.

I do still like to get organic lettuce, spinach, and potatoes when I can. I still drink reverse osmosis water. I also like to burn sage every now and again. When possible, I like to get over illnesses without having to take antibiotics. So, I guess what I mean to say is: there is nuance.

But there’s no doubt that obsessive worry is not good for your health, and is not warranted.

Also, vaccines and mainstream medicine are life savers. I realize they are not without their dangers, but surgery saves lives. Antibiotics save lives. (And just, like, help with infections.) Vaccines save so, so many lives.

Baby: Everyday Cleanliness and Common Sense Health

In the Middle Ages, why were wise women so often imagined with a broom and a cat? Cleanliness. They knew that if you keep your house clean of dirt and rats, you will be healthier. (They also knew cats are adorable and perfect.) It’s simple, common sense stuff.

If you eat a variety of healthy foods and drink some good, clean water every day, no surprises here: it’s good for you.

Some of those foods may be local and organic. Others, industrially farmed. Others, packaged and processed. And I’m not sorry.

Because you know what’s a million times worse for your health than non-organic, packaged, and processed foods? Obsessing.

And you know what definitely makes you more difficult for yourself and other people to live with? Being hyper vigilant about candy bars and on a hair trigger to demonize a bag of chips.

(Not judging! Just sharing more lived experience here.)

Exercising, great. Pushing yourself until you’re miserable, not great. Eating an apple, great. Eating four apples because you really want a cookie but you’re afraid to eat one? Not great.

See what I mean? Don’t biohack. Don’t try to give yourself super powers. Just nurture your health sustainably and sensibly with basic, common sense stuff. Sleep. Laugh. Sweep. Eat a cookie. Hang out with your cat.

Bathwater: Feeling Guilt and Shame Around Challenges and Things You Can’t Control

This one is a biggie. If we are manifesting our reality, it’s like: what is our problem if our reality isn’t perfect in every way?

For many years, this confounded me. So, on top of feeling frustration or sadness about a challenge, I would feel guilt and shame. Surely, I thought, I must have done something wrong, somewhere along the way. I didn’t think positively enough, or maybe I worried too much, or maybe I didn’t believe I deserved good things.

Now, I realize that when it comes to manifesting, there is a caveat. We must acknowledge that there are things we can control and other things we can’t. There will always be things we can’t predict, understand, or fix.

When we manifest, then, we are taking charge of the things we can control and letting go of the things we can’t.

But even when we let go of the things we can’t control, we are working magic. Because we are placing those things in the hands of the Divine, so to speak. And when I say “the Divine,” I mean the part of us that is one with everything, or the aspect of existence that is beyond our ability to comprehend. We are saying, I can’t fix this, but maybe You can.

I find that when I face reality in this way, it becomes easier to dance with what’s here. I find blessings in challenges more easily, and feel stuck less often and for shorter periods of time. Plus I just feel better.

Baby: Your Power to Affect Positive Change in Your Life

The truth is, we do have a lot of power! There is always some inspiring mindset tweak we can make, or some empowering action we can take. We can always find a way to be kinder to ourselves. We can go for a walk in nature to lift our spirit and refresh our perspective. We can take a bath to relax our body and show ourselves love. We can call a friend to talk things out and laugh.

And, of course, we can work our magic. We can meditate. We can pray. We can choose what we want to manifest and do a ritual or a spell. We can decide to obsess less, and to enjoy life more, and to create more beauty and have more fun. We can move out of our comfort zone by trying something we’ve always wanted to try. We can apply to college at any age, or save up for a trip to a country we’ve always wanted to visit.

In short, we have agency, and countless beautiful possibilities await.

What do you think? Do you agree? Disagree? Did I leave out anything, or do you have anything you’d like to add? Please chime in below!

Also check out this series I wrote back in 2021:

New Age 2.0: It’s Time for an Upgrade

The Problem With Always Trusting Your Vibes

What Are We Trying So Hard to “Cleanse”?