The Problem with Always Trusting Your Vibes
It’s my opinion that some new age beliefs (many of which I previously held) didn’t stand up to the test of this past year. This is part two of my exploration of beliefs that could use an upgrade. You can read part 1 here.
I used to take it for granted that I should always trust my vibes. That was the prevailing wisdom, as far as I could tell. At least, that’s what everyone seemed to be saying on Hay House Radio, which I listened to frequently back in the aughts.
Actually, universally trusting my vibes was helpful at first. The more I listened to my intuition and acted on it, the more validation I received that my intuition was on to something, and the stronger my intuitive hits became.
But over time, I’ve learned that intuition isn’t that simple. There are layers to it. There are nuances. There are some things I just don’t know, and information I don’t have access to. There are questions with more than one answer, and sometimes those answers conflict.
And during this past year, it’s become increasingly obvious that “always trusting your vibes” is problematic for another reason. If you believe your vibes are inviolable and you should consequently never mistrust them, you run the risk of mistaking unconscious biases or assumptions for “vibes.”
This appears to be especially likely when fear is involved. I’m thinking of the increase in hate crimes against Asian people during the Covid era. Covid, and all the trauma that has come along with it, scared people. For some of those people, associating the pandemic with China led them to commit atrocities against Asian people.
Something like this is not in the least bit logical. It’s blind, reactive, unexamined emotion. Sort of like how metaphysical teachers (and I’m sure I have been guilty of this) describe intuitive hits or “vibes.” I remember once hearing Doreen Virtue admonishing her radio show listeners not to discount their intuition with something she called “logical override.” (Again, this is a concept that can be helpful sometimes, but obviously not all the time. Not if you’re ignoring the logical override, for example, that says that Asian people don’t deserve to be punished for Covid.)
But even when fear isn’t involved, we hold unconscious biases.
In his bestselling book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, Malcolm Gladwell writes about taking a test called the Race Implicit Association Test (IAT). This is a psychological exam that measures your immediate reactions to various stimuli in order to gauge your associations: in this case, with race. Even though Malcolm Gladwell is half Black, all three times he took the test, he “was rated as having a ‘moderate automatic preference for whites.'” About these results, he writes:
So what does this mean? Does this mean I’m a racist, a self-hating black person? Not exactly. What it means is that our attitudes toward things like race or gender operate on two levels. First of all, we have our conscious attitudes. This is what we choose to believe…But the IAT measures something else. It measures our second level of attitude, our racial attitude on an unconscious level – the immediate, automatic associations that tumble out before we’ve even had time to think. We don’t deliberately choose our unconscious attitudes…we may not even be aware of them. The giant computer that is our unconscious silently crunches all the data it can from the experiences we’ve had, the people we’ve met, the lessons we’ve learned, the books we’ve read, the movies we’ve seen, and so on, and it forms an opinion…
The disturbing thing about the test is that it shows that our unconscious attitudes may be utterly incompatible with our stated conscious values. As it turns out, for example, of the fifty thousand African Americans who have taken the Race IAT so far [this book came out in 2007], about half of them, like me, have stronger associations with whites than with blacks. How could we not? We live in North America, where we are surrounded every day by cultural messages linking white with good.”
Perhaps you’ve heard a statement to the effect of “Everyone is a racist, and if you say you’re not racist, you’re wrong.” Or perhaps you saw the meme that was going around from Corinna Rosella (@riseupgoodwitch) that says “Maybe you manifested it, maybe it’s white privilege.” Malcolm Gladwell’s experience with the Race Implicit Association Test demonstrates just how deeply racism and privilege have embedded themselves into our psyches. Saying “Everyone is racist” or “white people are privileged” isn’t about shaming anyone or calling them bad. It’s about respectfully pointing out that we’ve all been raised in a culture with historical inequality and deeply rooted bias. In the US, for example, it’s only been 156 years since legal slavery was abolished. That’s why many of us don’t have to look too far down the family tree to find ancestors who were slave owners or slaves. And, of course, watch any popular American movie since, well, movies have existed, and you’re likely to see mostly white people, and to see – almost exclusively – white people in leading roles. To imagine things like this have no effect on our outlook and behavior is fantasy.
That’s why, if we want to effectively combat systemic racism, we need to actively question our “vibes.” It might not be accurate to say unconscious racism is actually a vibe, but it will behave like one – and we will continue to mistake it for one – if we fail to bring it out into our conscious awareness.
(Whether or not you agree with all the author’s positions, the book Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor contains lots of helpful exercises for bringing our unconscious biases to light.)
Vaccine hesitancy is another example of unconscious bias masquerading as “vibes.”
Perhaps you’ve had the experience of trying to educate a vaccine hesitant friend about all the vital ways vaccines have improved human health and life expectancy, without making the tiniest bit of progress toward changing their mind. There’s a reason for that: vaccine hesitancy isn’t about facts. It’s about vibes.
On April 29th 2021, The New York Times published an article called Vaccine Skepticism Was Viewed as a Knowledge Problem. It’s Actually About Gut Beliefs. Author Sabrina Tavernise writes,
In recent years, epidemiologists have teamed up with social psychologists to look more deeply into the “why” behind vaccine hesitancy. They wanted to find out whether there was anything that vaccine skeptics had in common, in order to better understand how to persuade them.
…[They] found that skeptics were much more likely than nonskeptics to have a highly developed sensitivity for liberty – the rights of individuals – and to have less deference to those in positions of power.
Skeptics were also twice as likely to care a lot about the “purity” of their bodies and minds. They disapprove of things they consider disgusting, and the mindset defies neat categorization: It could be religious – halal or kosher – or entirely secular, like people who care deeply about toxins in foods or in the environment.
…”At the root are these moral institutions – these gut feelings – and they are very strong…” [said researcher Jeff Huntsinger], “It’s very hard to override them with facts and information. You can’t reason with them in that way.”
I think it’s great to value liberty and question authority. These are healthy attitudes that probably attracted us to alternative spirituality in the first place. But when we pair these attitudes with blind obedience to our own “gut feelings,” even at the expense of logic, reason, and our own safety, we effectively cancel out their benefits.
I’m reminded of the warring factions within my psyche when I go to the dentist. Experts say, obviously, to go. My instinct is, emphatically, not to go. The discomfort and vulnerability I feel when the dental hygienist pokes around in my mouth combined with my memories of intense pain from prior dental procedures tell me something is not right and these people want to hurt me and for goddess’s sake stay away. And yet, I go. Because I know, in this case – gut feelings notwithstanding – the experts are right.
If you have a dog or a cat, you’ve been there when their vibes were telling them to avoid the vet at all costs. It breaks my heart to hear my cat’s plaintive and repetitive meow from his carrier on the way to the vet. Still, we know – even if our animals’ vibes are telling them otherwise (and they are) – that regular vet visits and shots are incredibly likely to prolong their lives and improve the quality of their lives. We also know (in the case of animals that go outdoors) their immunity will help keep the other animals in your neighborhood safe.
Of course, I realize vaccine hesitancy isn’t quite the same as not wanting to go to the dentist or vet. It’s not as simple as discomfort, vulnerability, or aversion to pain. But I’m drawing a parallel because these are all examples of times when gut feelings are doing their best to persuade you (or your pet) of something that is both harmful and untrue.
And that brings us to the elephant in the new age bookstore: QAnon.
In episode 1 of the HBO QAnon documentary Q: Into the Storm, former gossip columnist and present day Q-tuber Liz Crokin says,
“Literally nothing would surprise me. So if you tell me that aliens are real and that the earth’s flat, or whatever…there is nothing that–I expose people that literally rape and eat babies. To me, if that is able to exist in this world, I think anything is possible.”
When she explains how she initially got into QAnon, she says,
“After Q dropped his first drop, I just immediately knew this was legit. I just knew it intuitively. I started researching some of the things that Q was posting and everything resonated with me and everything added up.”
I hope it’s as clear to you as it is to me that Liz Crokin’s intuition, in this particular case, should not have been trusted. In addition to being a conflicting mishmash of failed predictions and baseless theories, QAnon is antisemitic, racist, violent, and played a major role in the Capitol riot. It’s hard to think of a better example of how problematic trusting your vibes can actually be.
On second thought, no it isn’t. The Catholic Church imprisoned Galileo at home for life and forbade him from teaching because he said the earth revolved around the sun. That’s how (intuitively) certain they were that he was wrong.
I still believe that cultivating our intuition is helpful. You actually do have a powerful inner guidance system that you can learn to use with great benefit to yourself and others. It’s not my intention to dissuade you from accessing your intuition. It’s my intention to dissuade you from following it blindly or oversimplifying it, like hate criminals, dogs and cats who mistrust the vet, Liz Crokin in 2017, and the Catholic Church in 1633.
Gaining intuitive mastery includes not just learning to trust your vibes, but also learning when to question your vibes and when to temper (or even override) them with logic and facts.
Your intuition has levels, layers, and nuance. And sometimes it tells you things that just aren’t true.
I have more to say about New Age beliefs and practices that could use an upgrade. Here’s the 3rd and final installment in the series.
I’d love to hear your thoughts! I read every comment, so please chime in below.
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First, I admire anyone who speaks their truth and invites conversation, so thank you. My intention here is to add to the conversation in any way that might benefit the all, and to inquire if maybe I’m missing something.
In your post, I don’t hear a distinction between fear/gut (gut feelings connected to survival responses) vs. actual intuition, or our divine connection to infinite wisdom/God connection. There’s a huge difference. What I hear in your post mostly seems to describe bias & fear reactivity rather than intuition. When I work with clients (trauma psychotherapist), we work deeply in the body to distinguish the two (and honestly, it feels most aligned to me to respect their fear signals, too, and if they make the sovereign choice to listen to them, as these can often be lifesaving even when logic says otherwise).
Also, your post seems to indicate that there’s “one right way,” which is to receive the vaccine, and that people making a sovereign choice to not receive the vaccine aren’t using their logic, or aren’t making the “right choice,” as this post seems to hint. What alarms me about this is the “one right way” notion is that this is the position any dangerous regime has taken throughout history — that there’s one right way, and people who “rebel” are just using their loopy intuition, or aren’t educated enough (education is relative to what is known at any given time period; lobotomies, radium, endless examples of what was considered safe and “logical” at one point in time) and need to use more logic.
What alarms me even more about this (not just from this post, but this thinking in general), is that not only does the “one right way” paradigm feel patriarchal, but so does the questioning of the inner guidance system, which speaks more to the feminine energy.
Although my intention in this comment is not to talk about being pro/against the vaccine (although it may be glaringly obvious at this point that I’m choosing to not get the vaccine), I do want to offer a scenario whereby maybe we do find out in 5 or 20 or 100 years that there are indeed harmful side effects from the vaccine that couldn’t have been foreseen at the time of release (which has happened with many medications). Perhaps people’s highest guidance system has picked up on this, contrary to the known facts at that particular time period.
Things like radium at some point in history were also seen as the “rational” choice for medicine. And it wasn’t until years and years later that we found out differently. And the people (mostly women) that spoke out and followed their voice were seen as erratic.
I completely agree with using our logic – it’s a useful tool of the mind and can be called upon when needed. I make it a practice to use it in tandem with my inner wisdom. Again, one of the most harmful things I see here is the “one right way” paradigm. Plus the, what I would consider harmful, questioning of a person’s sovereign choice.
Again I want to say thank you for opening this space for comments. And I truly am open to hearing thoughts. None of this will be solved by barking facts at one another and trying to convince or “educate” the other side (Back to the “one right way” thinking. Have I been guilty of this? Hell yes.). I believe we’ll start to shift out of this division by releasing ego and truly being open to listening, while having respect and reverence for everyone’s sovereign choice. So my intention is to show up, express my thoughts and my voice, and be open to learning/feedback.
Thanks again, Liz.
So, in response to Tess wanting to educate people with one right way. There is a ton of misinformation about these vaccines floating around. People are saying they have microchips in them. People think they aren’t effective when they’ve been proven to be effective. They are saying covid-19 isn’t so bad when millions of people have died from it. It’s hard to see people believing things that are verifiably untrue.
I wonder if Tess didn’t distinguish between fear responses and intuition because most people don’t know how to distinguish them. They mistake anxiety for intuition. I personally know someone who absolutely refuses to be happy with anything. She was afraid the foundation to her house was messed up. Her intuition told her it was leaning, though no one else saw it. After spending thousands on an inspection from a structural engineer, who told her it was in good shape, her “bad vibes” are still telling her otherwise. She thinks he missed something. If she’s accessing divine guidance it’s certainly making her miserable and doesn’t seem to be helping her.
I definitely agree with becoming aware of fears, anxieties (like based on unhealed trauma having nothing to do with the current situation), and unconsciously biases, like in systemic racism, absolutely. It’s helpful to learn how these show up and affect decision-making, which is where logic is very helpful. What feels most aligned for me is using emotion and logic in tandem, as both are informative, be aware of biases, filter it through wise discernment, and making a sovereign choice from there.
I’m loving these blogs Tess. They really resonate with me and have prompted me to think more deeply and examine more closely when I’m tempted by intuition. Thank you. Cathy
Hi Tess Thank you for this article. I’d just like to say when I DIDN’T listen to my intuition everything went downhill for me. When I DID listen everything went smooth. I regret NOT listening to both my gut and intuition at times because I missed out on opportunities and now I’m in a dark hole no job no car no nothing. If only I listened to my gut and intuition I would’ve had a job a car a house and I’d be happy but unfortunately I have a evil sister who is a narcissist control freak and has other family members do her dirty work in stopping me from doing things and getting what I want. I’m praying I can get a job so I can move away from these toxic people. I feel like a prisoner in my house. They get mad whenever I went out with friends. I have 4 TRUE friends who they don’t know who I keep in touch with. I’m praying I get a job then a car so I can go visit my friends. They all know me and know how my evil sister is. She stopped me and claims this is the hand that I was dealt. I’m sorry to say this but it wasn’t the hand I was dealt she my evil sister stopped me from doing what I wanted to do. My parents asked me what I wanted to do after HS and I said go to college to get my Business degree move upstate in my Dads house and open my own business. But unfortunately my evil sister told my Dad I was lying to him about my teacher having paperwork for college filled out. Then my evil sister started putting me down saying that I was an idiot stupid and not good enough for college so my Dad never sent me. My evil sister always told both my Mom and Dad what to do that’s why I call her a control freak. There were other careers I wanted to do and now I’m to old to do anything. I just want to be HAPPY and away from these toxic people. I have a daughter who listens to my evil sister in stopping me also. That’s why I don’t have a job car or anything I wanted because I was stopped. If only I listened to my gut I would’ve still had my car. The very last time I didn’t listen to my gut intuition I was in a car accident my gut intuition told me to turn off the street I was driving on and I kept on going and some female passed the stop sign and totalled my car. I also, feel my coworkers are involved with this accident because one of the guys came after the accident and then the female who hit me came over to me and said she had to take a picture of my car and I turned around and said to her why do you need proof you totalled my car. I had recently read an article about narcissist and it said that the jealous family members will reek havoc on your life with other family members friends and coworkers. I know for a fact she called my jobs and told them to mess with me just by what they said to me exact words my evil sister said to me they would say to me. I’m so done its pathetic. This is my story on NOT listening to both my gut and intuition. I wish there was a time machine so I could go back in time and fight with this evil sister and I would be happy today with what I wanted to do. Thank you again for this article signed Unhappy Blue eyes
The more I listen to my intuition, the more helpful it becomes in my life. That being said, I also find that I get the most clear messages when I take time to breathe, sit in sacred space, use divination to gain additional insight. If I feel overly emotional about something, it can be hard to discern if it is intuition, bias, anxiety, etc.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that intuition will often whisper truth to you, and it is often truth that is uncomfortable or difficult to face, but ultimately for your own good. For example, you have a strong sense your partner is cheating, lying and things feel really off. You know you need to leave but are scared to be on your own, want to avoid confrontation, etc. Intuition isn’t always getting want you want.
In The Gift of Fear, Gavin de Becker explains that humans are the only species that will talk themselves out of the intuitive sensing of fear that could save their lives (logical override). One one hand, I definitely agree with him, but again you have to consider it may be your own biases triggering that perceived fear.
Great article, Tess. My spiritual journey is shifting at this time as well, and I appreciate your willingness to publicly share your shifts as well.
Omg Yes, i ask myself often, do i feel uneasy because it is bad for me, or because i’m afraid i’ll get triggered or something like that… Such a good article!
.. i’d like to add a special thanks for your wisdom on pets. I learned so much about my two cats’ personalities since my 12y old cat moved back in with us. And it’s because you pointed that out in your book magical housekeeping. You helped me re establish a natural connection with them and i’m forever grateful for that.
This conversation is so important. Thank you, Tess, for having the courage to plainly, lovingly and firmly bring it forward. And thank you readers for acknowledging the value of her position. It’s so nice to know I’m not alone
Thank you for all these thoughtful and encouraging comments! I am so glad this post is resonating. This stuff has been simmering in my mind for a while so it’s great to get it out. Thanks for reading, everyone.
Brave Tess!! Keep this up, I’m so here for it!!!
I think this is where being clear on your values can help. Do you value personal freedom? Justice? Being Open-minded? I’ve found referencing my values to be very helpful in reigning in my worst impulses, but I’m a Taurus sun so go figure 😆
I want to say this is “refreshing” for me to read, but if I’m completely honest, the word is really “validating.” I think people have been scrambling to hang on to something they can be a part of, because the world is changing and that is scary for many people. And there is legit covid-PTSD. Getting lost in conspiracy theory, spiritual bypassing and joining in hate groups gives humans a sense of belonging in a community where they feel protected, even if it’s hurtful, dangerous or fear based.
Please keep sharing your thoughts on the upgrades!
Thanks for this Tess. I’m looking forward to part 3. I am noticing some of the comments here are drawing a distinction between pure intuition/vibes and other things that “get in the way” like anxiety and past trauma etc. I see this as missing the point of your article – that intuition itself can be problematic. Until we can acknowledge this we will keep making the same mistakes.
Thank you Tess for this thought provoking timely article! I’ve always tried to balance my intuition with logic, and look at the world from a compassionate, inclusive perspective, whenever possible. I always try to be open to learning, because there’s so many aspects to the universe that I don’t fully understand.
Thanks so much for writing this series of blog posts. I’ve been noticing for a long time that some people confuse intuition with their anxiety, inner critic, self interest, ect. I think this is exactly why it has been so mistrusted for so long.
Thank you so much Tess, for all of your wise insights. You have opened my eyes even more during this crazy time. It’s hard trusting anyone/anything with what’s going on in our world right now.
I am so glad to read someone questioning the whole always trust your intuition. I left every single online group I was in because I was so tired of hearing this. When a reading wasn’t correct they would refuse to see how they could improve readings and what they misinterpreted during a reading and would instead accuse the recipient of the reading of lying or being in denial. Seems so much new age spiritual stuff has turned from love to hate and judgement. No human is perfect and always correct no matter how spiritual you are and I am glad this is now being discussed
It’s true sometimes our “vibes” or “intuition” are mistaken as that and are actually anxiety, past traumas or hurts coming up or flight or fight response trying to “protect” us, PTSD, etc or even reptilian brain. There are also other contributing factors but thank you for writing on this subject. I hope you can help us to navigate how to really hone in and develop our actual intuition and override anything else that might be coming up as a way to shield or protect us from seeming harm.