I Followed My Intuition to Get Off Social Media, Then This Happened
I will treasure this experience always.
Like so many of us, since the US election last November, I haven’t felt great. In no small part because I was looking at my phone and engaging with social media way too much. I felt like the world was going to hell on my phone, and all I could do was watch.
Then, Monday, it hit me: social media, incrementally and then seemingly all at once, screwed up the world.
So why do I keep going to it? Why do I keep contributing to it? Why do I keep subjecting myself to its seductive algorithms? It’s literally mind control.
So I posted a quick announcement that I was getting the hell off, and then got the hell off.
Later, after lunch, instead of doomscrolling, I spent my afternoon break in my backyard with a novel and a crossword puzzle.
Then, I heard honking. My house is not overly close to the main drag of the small California town where I live, but it’s close enough that I could tell that LOTS of cars were honking. Like nonstop.
I thought, “That’s weird.” And it kept happening.
Next, a couple of birds in my orange trees got extra loud, and the neighbors’ dogs started to bark, and it felt pretty clear the Universe was telling me to get off my butt and figure out what the honking was all about.
So I ducked inside, took a quick peek at my phone, and discovered that a demonstration in support of immigrants was going on – and it was walking distance from my house! So I threw my sneakers on and was there in five minutes.
This is what I found:
I wished so much that I had brought a sign. Still, felt so good to be a part of this crowd. These folks were standing up for the families in fear of being separated and the countless other neighbors of mine who no longer feel safe leaving the house.
So many people honked and cheered as they drove by. I was not ashamed to openly cry. They were tears of both sadness – for the necessity of the demonstration – and joy, for the overwhelming sense of solidarity and hope.
The turnout was amazing. I have attended demonstrations in Los Angeles that weren’t as big as this. And my town is small!
Here are some more pictures I took.
I learned some important stuff Monday.
If I hadn’t made the decision to remove my attention from the apps on my phone, I would not have heard the honking, and I would have spend another day feeling lonely, anxious, and ineffective. Instead, I got to see, in three dimensions, people who organized and followed through on their plan to peacefully demonstrate.
These demonstrators showed me that while individually, we might feel disempowered, together, we have agency.
It wasn’t until the next day that I learned that demonstrations like this one took place all over California and Texas on Monday.
In conclusion, let’s put our phones down and let’s look for real world, local opportunities to support immigrants, LGTBQIA+ folks, women’s reproductive rights, and any other vulnerable community or vital cause that is under fire right now.
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ADDENDUM: After reading and responding to the comments below, I wanted to add that I know we will still have our phones, and will still use them to connect and learn. But my point is that I want to do that more mindfully, and social media won’t be a part of that mindfulness.
As one possible exception (there may be more like this), I was thinking about how Facebook groups can be a useful thing for communities to share information, whether local or worldwide.
I also wanted to mention that I love getting my news from AllSides.com because it brings together headlines from news sources all over the web from left, right, and center so I won’t stay in any one bubble of information, and so I can get an idea of what various communities are thinking and believing.
***
Let me know your thoughts – are you going to get off of social media too, or maybe just take a break from it?
And I have a request: if you have any resources for real world activism, please share them in the comments below.
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I love how you followed your intuition to step away from social media and ended up being part of something so meaningful! It’s a great reminder that disconnecting from the digital noise can open us up to real-world connections and opportunities for action. Thank you for inspiring us to engage more mindfully and focus on local causes. I’ll definitely be reflecting on how I can do the same!
❤️
Tess,
Just received your email titled “Dreamy Clover Magic”. Welcome to the ranks of the disconnected! I terminated all my Twitter accounts, Facebook account, and other “social” media accounts years ago. While I miss some of the folks I used to communicate with on those platforms, the ones that have continued via email have been a real treasure. When asked why I no longer use social media, I simply say “It is a toxic, time-sucking black hole” and move on to the next topic. 🙂
Thanks for all the good stuff you send out. Your emails always brighten my day.
Michael
Michael, that’s a good one! I’m going to use it – “toxic, time-sucking black hole” – so succinct and accurate. Thank you for reading, and also for the encouragement and kind words.
Great article! There are demonstrations all over the world at the moment. People are standing for something, not just standing by. It’s important to have an opinion and to sway other people or be swayed to another perspective.
Thank you, Shauna! Yes, it’s wonderful to see.
Tess, we have NO voice in the red states, but y’all who have dem leadership should tell them to get in the fascist leaders’ faces like this:
https://www.alternet.org/chu-moore-johnson-musk/
The rest of you do-nothing-dems take note: THIS. NOW!
We’re WAY past the point of polite decorum and spin. Stand up for the nation and the people or lie down with dogs. As the sportsman’s friend, Harold Ensley, might be misquoted as saying, “It’s gettin’ later than ya think, old buddy. Time to get in their faces.”
Did ya hear about the pacifist who crossed the road? Me neither.
Ron, are there no protests over there? I heard about the Texas ones Monday. But point taken – I can only imagine red states are a whole different vibe.
This was to be in response to your other post about real-world actions. But, yes, protests happen in Kansas and those who are able attend. I covered these extensively as a documentarian during the 45 era and don’t walk as well now so standing around with a sign or camera isn’t an option for everyone. Marches are a young person’s game. My point is that it is pointless to talk at maga politicians who are toadies to 47. If you have a democrat rep or senator, do that. We’re losing by playing nice. This is a full-out coup attempt and the military will be loosed upon us as we write letters to assholes. New world, new tactics. AND if one actually BELIEVES in magick, then put it all into that as well. Do both. That is all.
I love this. Thank you for sharing this inspiring, hopeful, beautiful story!
Susan, thank you for reading and connecting. ❤️
I love what you have to say about the immigrants and getting off social media so much. Something that has blown my mind. I am American, short, blonde, female. Of American soldiers born in Germany. However, my great-grandmother was from France. It just dawned on me a few months ago – I am a 4th-generation American! My ancestor on my mother side was an immigrant not long ago. I’ve been looking up my family genealogy when I get the chance. I have a 2-great-grandfather whose name was Alberto, in the heartland of Kentucky. There is no way that relative was not an immigrant also.
My point is, we are all only generations away from being immigrants ourselves. This close-minded attitude our country is trying to impose on everyone else is just killing me.
As to the social media. I do my share of scrolling on my laptop and even my phone sometimes. In some ways, I need to educate myself, and the best way is to read headlines. But my latest worry is that the people in power are going to start putting out false and skewed information and we will have no way to know if it is just bull. That is how other countries help to indoctrinate kids and others I believe. Look at the histories of other countries, the dictator controls the media outlets. I don’t believe with everything that is happening, that it won’t happen here too.
So then, where do we turn for unbiased truth? If you want to take out some of this, feel free. I don’t know if you would even want to share with the public. But I have enjoyed your comments and all the things you send us – even if I don’t get it, I at least know it is available. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Deva Penrod
Hi Deva! Great point. I like to get my news from AllSides.com because it rounds up the headlines from left, right, and center so you can at least get a picture of what all sides are saying and what they are focusing on.
Such an uplifting post Tess.
Resistance is key. We are stronger together.
There are MANY more of us than them.
Here is a link to a video about the peaceful
protest in Denver today.
https://youtu.be/4jridgcTiuU?si=KW5RK4q3x7hS-1Ro
About 4,000 people or more showed up.
Unfortunately my body pains won’t let me go right now. But I did post about it many times on Bluesky and FB, a couple of days before the planned protest. And I enjoyed watching videos and cheering them on from afar.
Keep organizing when you can. 💜💜💜
Ailie, I love this! I didn’t know about the protest in Denver. So awesome!
I very much understand how you feel about the downside of keeping up with social media. After the election, I had avoided all political posts as much as possible because it caused me so much anxiety and anger and a lot of grief. After the inauguration I tried to plug my ears and close my eyes, but as I heard bits and pieces of what was going on I felt that I needed to keep my eyes open because it turns out there are a lot of major & damaging things happening. This resulted in some sleeping nights, but also a whole lot of thinking and looking at the big picture (the root of the support this new regime receives, looking into the history of the rise & fall & rise again of fascism, how new it is that so many countries have had a democracy, and the trend that shows support for fascism has been swiftly coming back & why, etc.). So, here I am wanting my energy to be clear and calm for my family and to allow myself to sleep, but also the desire to find ways to make a difference and try understand what is happening. It’s a balance I’ll be teetering for a while. May we all find some peace and love so we can get through this as well as we can. Thanks Tess for this post, your words help so much. Also Natasha Levinger’s! Both of you are bright lights!
Michele, thank you for this thoughtful comment and for your kind words! Yes, it’s a balance for sure. I find that looking at AllSides.com for my news helps me get an overview of the headlines without getting roped into any one narrative, and also allows me to see the full spectrum of what people are seeing in their respective bubbles.
It may not be an “either/or” choice. Social media can help with connecting people and communities digitally across space and time.
However, as you noted, being connected in the 3D world, at the same moment, in the same space, results in a different connection with people and communities.
I think the choice is whether one feels a sense of futility and withdraws, or sees (or creates) opportunities to connect to reinforce a sense of purpose.
Yes, conscious use. I was thinking about how Facebook groups can be such a useful source of community information, locally and for other sorts of groups.
I actually had gotten the “download” to get off social media earlier (maybe around early fall). I’m glad to see other people got hit something similar at some point!!
The election is what got me to add YouTube to my block list.
I know earlier in the year, I just had this “ick” feeling about social media and this sense don’t do anything on it/with it right now.
And just recently, I disconnected from other places (namely Discord, the IM app) and I haven’t felt like checking anything since then.
It’s been interesting to see what I’ve done to replace the habits social media has been feeding. 😂 (I started playing mobile games, for one thing lol) It’s also interesting to see where these platforms helped me when my mind gets a certain way and looking to understand what I can do about it instead of poke around social media or watch YouTube.
This whole thing definitely has me reconsidering what I want my relationship with social media to be when I’m ready to come back it.
Kelly, that’s an interesting point! I will also be interested to see what I turn to when I want to escape a bit, although if the first week is any indication, it will be crossword puzzles and novels. Haha. Oh and podcasts. It’s also gratifying to hear that you had a similar nudge!
Closed all accounts in 2018 and haven’t looked back. Hard with friends and family on the other side of the country (usa). Also chanced upon a protest…saturday!! (Oregon). It was awesome. My husband is an immigrant, Hispanic, and proud to be so. It was a beautiful thing to see, the coming together. May people rise up everywhere against evil. Only together are we strong.
I know, it’s a great energy to be around. Glad you happened upon a protest as well. And thank you for your hopeful and encouraging words.
I’m going to be a reframing voice…I have finally managed to use my phone now as a source of information and a way to stay in touch with like minded people…to learn about opportunities such as the one you attended (and learned about via your phone you wrote). I don’t want to throw the baby out with the bath water AND I need to take charge of my use. It isn’t always easy but I am working on making this valuable resource work for me as healthfully as possible.
I appreciate your regular posts and other offerings…been following you a long while now. Thanks for the great heartful energy you put into our world. 💕🙏🏻
Karen, yes! In fact, I think I will add an edit to this post that of course we’ll still have our phones and can use them in constructive ways, and we want to be informed, but at the same time, excessive social media use is not the answer. So a reshuffling of habits is in order, at least for me.
I live in Vanc BC and yes, we are threatened, but media just makes it worse. I don’t belong to any social media and stay away from the news. Get off that phone and do something more constructive.
Cheryl, I admire your habit of staying off social media!
Oh Tess! I SO RELATE! I’m not usually one to doomscroll (and consciously limit my screen time ) but as a gentle Canadian who tries to put only light in the world, I found myself falling into a hole of bewilderment, hurt and discouragement when the country I so love was being seriously threatened by a deranged, dark soul named Trump. The stress and horror that we have felt as Canadians (who believed the ” words of impending war “) brought closer the reality that your compatriots who you were demonstrating with must feel. I was glued to my phone but something in me said STOP and I instead forced myself outside ( in the snow ) and went for a gratitude walk! As I breathed the crisp air and marveled at the snow sparkling like a carpet of glitter, I started to feel the squeezing in my heart ease. If I find myself turning to my phone again I will limit it to blogs like yours and remember that there are so many blessings and positivity in the world. Xo from Canada ❤️
Heidi, I’m glad to know you relate and have had a similar experience. Knowing that will help inspire me to stay on this path. I also like that you mentioned that you’ll look for more positive ways to be on your phone. Because of course we will still have our phones, and will still want to learn and connect through them, but that doesn’t mean we have to be on Instagram and TikTok.
I closed my accounts and left social media a few years ago. I have not missed it.
Good for you! I had a pretty good relationship with social media for a while (I was barely on it) but as an author I couldn’t ignore a feeling that I needed to be on there to promote my work, and then I was right back in the thick of it. This time, I feel like a wave of authors are feeling this same nudge to get off the socials (many for some time now), so I’m hoping that will help prevent me from getting roped in again.