Q: I received your wonderful book Magical Housekeeping from my mother for Christmas. I read it cover to cover before the afternoon was out. A lot of the information was simply revelatory for me and I could NOT wait to get home to declutter, bless and reorganize my home…Well, this week I’ve finally finished the decluttering process…But, the one area I don’t recall you discussing that I’d really like your opinion on is journals. I have journals from the last few years of my life. A lot of journals. I’m also a writer, and a helpless pack rat (getting a lot better, but photos and notes and any really personal thing is very hard for me to get rid of) so I always really hesitate to throw away journals. They are all cluttered with past relationships that have gone terribly awry, but I wrote them, so it’s not like they came from an ex, or really have a specific memory associated with them just by looking at the cover. The more I think about it though, the more I’m curious if keeping journals is bad because it recirculates the ideas and beliefs of people I used to be that I’ve very much grown out of. At the same time, keeping them around and looking at them periodically helps me to see how far I’ve actually come. In the end, I’m not sure if it’s beneficial enough to keep or detrimental enough to toss. Please let me know what you think!
A: I’m glad to hear you’ve been enjoying the book! Thank you so much for this excellent question. I’d be more than happy to give you my two cents on journals and whether to keep them or toss them.
First of all, I want to make the disclaimer that everyone is different, and everyone has their own unique relationship with each item they own. So while I can provide general guidelines to help you discover what is clutter and what isn’t, the ultimate deciding factor is always you: does it feel good to hang on to the item, does it feel neutral, or does it feel bad? If it feels bad or neutral, in almost every case, getting rid of it is the way to go.
That being said, I can tell you that my personal practice is to drop old journals like a ton of bricks. Our lifespan, after all, is limited. So while I am a big proponent of journaling as a method of processing emotions and life events, once the processing has been done, taking the time to shred or otherwise dispose of a journal is an important next step in letting go and creating the space for the multitude of wonderful new experiences just waiting to be explored.
In fact, the shredding/recycling of an old journal can be a very a magical act: energetically speaking, it’s like stoking a beautiful bonfire with the brittle old branches that have fallen to the forest floor. (And if you want to get fancy, you can even make a little ritual out of burning the journal pages in a bonfire or in your fireplace at home!)
This doesn’t mean that it can’t be helpful sometimes to review the journal before you dispose of it, perhaps even taking notes on ideas you had or jotting down poems you wrote or quotes you want to keep. Perhaps the journal might even inspire a short story, or you might whittle it down to a piece of creative nonfiction. If any of these practices feel right to you, this might also be another important aspect of the transformative practice of letting go.
One more thing I’d like to address is strong emotional attachments. If, for example, the thought of letting go of a particular journal feels exceptionally difficult to you, or even impossible, this can be an important clue to your emotional unfolding. Rather than painfully wrenching yourself away from it or simply stashing it in the back of your drawer, ask yourself: what is it about this time (i.e. the time when the journal was written) that I feel so attached to? What have I not healed? What else can I look at from this time in my life so that I can experience an even greater feeling of release and expansion? You might like to take some time to explore your answers in a new journal, taking as much time as you need until letting go begins to feel like the right thing to do. (Or, if you choose to hold on to the journal after all, that’s okay too as long as it’s a conscious choice that you make once you’ve bravely looked at, and become intimate with, your emotions surrounding it.)
Oh my gosh, I could never get rid of my memories. I am afraid I will forget those moments. I guess I would be creative and make an artistic piece using the best moments. But I agree that holding on can be draining and difficult. Nonetheless, this is very insightful! I can't wait to read your book Tess! 🙂
After years of struggling with it, I took the plunge last summer and got rid of them myself.
It felt liberating in a powerful way.
Michael
Just what I needed to hear today – thanks!
I had a couple journals that i held onto. I kept them because they were memories and i tend to be emotionally attached to things. Well recently i was cleaning out my love corner which is also were my desk it. (unable to move it) and i found an old conversation from a guy that i liked and in it he was rather rude to me and i was like "why did i keep this?" and it was then i finally felt ready to let go of my journals cause they were full of negativity and holding onto them was only keeping me in the past. After that the area felt lighter and i finally got rid of my old house phone which didn't work properly (also in my love area) and replaced it with a new red one that i love. So overall getting rid of my journals helped a lot.
Thank you so much for these responses! It's great to hear about your personal experiences with keeping/tossing journals. So glad I received that question, since the topic is so pertinent to so many of us.
I tossed my journals too after reading your Magical Housekeeping book. It was very liberating and helped me let go of the past. On another note, a neighbor of mine had to clean up her passed mother- in- law's home. There were dozens of journals that told a completely different story of her life and redefined the relationship she had with her mother-in-law and not for the better. The memories my neighbor had are now tainted. Although she knew she should not read them, the temptation was too great when she opened to see what the books were and saw her name listed again and again. Now my neighbor must reconcile this relationship without the person even around. Another reason to let go if the memories are not positive. Thanks again Tess for aiding in my healing process.
Hi Shauna, that is certainly a cautionary tale, and an excellent argument in favor of throwing out old journals – thanks. Also, so happy to hear that Magical Housekeeping has been a helpful ally on your healing journey!
Hi Tess!
I like your advice about old journals. I have a few from my early 20's, and have been surprised at how articulate and insightful I was at times, and how immature and angry at others… it's frightening yet encouraging… I like your idea of excerpting from them for creative endeavors.
Take care, Doreen Shababy
Can't wait to throw away all those old love letters and journals about the old loves. Maybe I will be able to open up to a new love having rid myself of the old ones. Thanks Tess. You are a true blessing.
Thanks, Doreen, and good idea Angie! Thank you both for reading and connecting.
Hi, I have just seen this page and it rings a bell with me very much. I kept journals for years in hard backed books, mainly full of pain and negativity amongst some positive things aswell. To cut a long story short I had them scanned earlier in the year and destroyed the originals as I felt that looking through them was getting me down and I didn't want anyone else to ever come across them. Now I keep a visual diary which isn't private and I love doing this, it was my friend's suggestion. I still keep an offloading journal in a spiral pad where I can tear pages out and I don't see this journal as being permanent as I intend to throw it away once its full but part of me wants to buy a beautiful hard backed book again and start journalling like I did before but then I know I will be back to the same old problem of them being cumbersome and in the way and too negative. I want to keep it aswell as the visual diary that is more a record of events and things that have happened but not in great detail. Should I just stick with the notepad? I don't want to go down old routes again yet I need to vent my feelings in a journal.
Hi! Well, I like to follow my creative flow and then deal with the physical repercussions later. So if your creativity wants to write in a pretty book, I would do it! And of course, for me too, venting my feelings in a journal is an absolute MUST. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Thanks for your reply. Do you keep your venting journals or toss them?
I toss them. I tear them up first. It's very cathartic.
I used to keep them so I can look back on how I did things before and to see if I had old ideas that I’ve forgotten that I can still pursue. Nowadays, I just keep them to a point (a year or two, at most) and then burn them in the backyard, usually just before the year ends. It can be quite therapeutic, I tell you. 🙂
Ruby Badcoe
I know, right? I love tearing up my old journals. 🙂
I'm a little late to the party 🙂 but here's something I'm doing: go through your old journals and tear out one or two pages from each one that represent what you were feeling during that time (but that isn't too incriminating!) then collect them in a new scrapbook. If you have a couple of pages where you're agonizing about a past love or something like that, you can paste it on a scrapbook page and then write or draw around it – maybe update it, just tell your past self how you got over/through all those problems that seemed so I.portant back then. It can be a nice way to get some closure. Then throw away the rest of the old journal after you extract the stuff you want to keep. 🙂
Yes, as a way of processing! Definitely a cool idea if it feels powerful for you. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
First of all I want to say that I absolutely love your “Magical Housekeeping” book! I read it last year. My husband and I are currently de-cluttering the second floor of our house. After reading this post I realized I tend to keep items because of the memories and people attached to them and need to let go of items when the feelings are negative. But there are items I have kept because of the positive feelings I got from them. Also I have felt so much better since clearing out the clutter! 🙂
Mindy, thank you for reading the post and for your kind words about Magical Housekeeping. And so glad to hear about your positive clutter clearing experience! It’s the best, right?
I agree, throwing old journals is very liberating. Sometimes I rip pages out of an old journal instead of throwing the whole journal away. Some of my journals are full of affirmations, positive quotes, etc. and looking back on them brings me in a place of peace and happiness. The parts that no longer serve me or don’t place me in state of being content are the parts I throw away. Love this post and thank you!
Yay, Lara! Glad you agree. Thank you so much for reading.