Are you thinking of magicking someone into loving you? Don’t! Here’s why you shouldn’t do a love spell on a specific person, and what to do instead.
“Whom you seek to imprison you do not love.”
~ A Course in Miracles
Look, I know it can be tempting.
But casting a love spell on a specific person is not only unethical, it will also very likely totally suck for you in the long run.
Of course, if you’re in the throes of limerence, it may be difficult to imagine what could possibly suck so much about the person you’re crushing on feeling the same way about you. Well then, let me paint you some pictures.
Do love spells work? Yes. And can you cast a love spell to attract someone awesome? Absolutely. But just don’t cast a love spell on a specific person.
Here’s why: ultimately, when you do a love spell on a specific person, there are no good outcomes. Rather, there are three main ways it could go very wrong.
(For everything you need to know about the dynamics of ethical and successful love magic, check out my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.)
The First Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
You know that what you send out energetically always comes back to you in some form, right? So in this scenario, when you cast the love spell, you cast it on yourself, too. That spell flies right back at you like a boomerang. So now, you both become magically, unnaturally obsessed with the other. Then you get into a really sticky, codependent, basically awful relationship. Maybe it involves violence. At the very least it involves emotional abuse, because overriding someone else’s free will is in itself a form of emotional abuse. So you put that in the mix when you did the spell, and now it’s there. And you’re stuck in the mire of that love spell like a swamp. Any healthy, fun, beautiful relationships you may have had aren’t even a possibility anymore, at least until you do some major magical damage control and extricate yourself from this mess. So don’t do it!
The Second Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
In this scenario, you cast a love spell on a specific person, and that person indeed appears to fall hopelessly in love with you. And…darn: now that they’re acting so foolish, they’re not attractive to you anymore. In addition to making this person miserable, now they also won’t leave you alone. Not to mention, as in scenario 1 (above), since you overrode some else’s free will by casting a spell on them, you’re going to have to deal with some karmic backlash.
The Third Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
The best case scenario, but still a bad one, is that you cast a spell on someone, and that unlucky someone successfully resists the magical pull to enter into a relationship with you. But your spell still boomerangs back and hits you, so you pine for this person much longer than you otherwise would have. You’ve now cast a spell of unhappiness on yourself. Until it wears off or the spell is successfully broken, this presents a challenge to your moods, your ability to focus, and any other romantic relationships you are (or may have otherwise been) involved with.
What to Do Instead of Casting a Love Spell on Someone
As I mentioned above, you can still do a love spell! Just not a love spell on a specific person.
You can’t go wrong when you do a spell to draw ideal romantic conditions and leave the actual person up to the universe. Because if the object of your affection happens to be an ideal partner for you right now, your spell might end up working on them after all! …But if it doesn’t, that just means someone even more perfect for you is on his or her way. So there’s obviously no question that this is the way to go.
If you liked this post, you’ll love my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.
Looking for an ethical love spell? Way to go – good choice! Here are some to choose from:
5 Karma-Friendly Alternatives to Putting a Love Spell on Someone
Love Spell to Attract a Divine Partner
Hello tess. I understand the negative effects of love spells. I would never consider casting one. My question is faithfulness spells. Would casting a spell to keep my girlfriend from cheating have the same effects on her free will and in turn my own? Or would it simply enlighten her to the anguish infidelity would cause me? Im not sure that she is cheating on me, just a gut feeling that she may be entertaining other suitors. This could also be anxiety issues on my part stemming from my past relationships having been destroyed by affairs. My most recent, my ex wife, cheated throughout our 11 year marriage and i only discovered it at the end. I am deeply in love with my girlfriend and it seems she reciprocates my feelings, but she also is very secretive about conversations with her mostly male friends and works very hard to keep me from meeting most of them. If she is indeed not faithful, I would prefer to know now and begin the healing process. Your thoughts and any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.
Christopher, this is a very good question. Instead of doing a fidelity spell on her, I would do a spell on yourself to help you see the truth, and another spell on yourself to heal past wounds. Once you’ve done both of these and experienced the results, you can decide how to move forward from there.
Hi!! Am Divya, I’ve been in a relation with a guy since 2 weeks, ours is a long distance relationship so the only way we can be in touch is by chat or a call, when I ask him he says he loves me but from the beginning of our relation I didn’t felt his love even for a single sec , he never spend time with me I can understand sometimes but am unable to take it everyday i need him for life time i want him to love me heartfully and respect me…can you please suggest me what is the best way i can try to fulfill my desire??…
Number 5 from this post might be a good idea: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-putting-a-love-spell-on-someone/
Hi Tess,
Is there anything I can do to break another woman’s love spell on my children’s father? Since she came into the picture, he has been a completely different person, and this is not the type of woman he’d ever go for. He is a very attractive man, and this woman is ugly from the inside and out. He has done some terrible things to his own children, things he has never done in the past and I feel strongly it is because she has put a love spell on him. He left our family for the first time ever to live with this woman and her child, and has basically abandoned and neglected our children, completely out of character. He hasn’t worked a job since being with her either, completely under her control. It’s been almost a year now and I need to know how I can break her spell on him? I remember before finding out about their secret affair, as she was our next door neighboor just three doors down, that someone would make food for him and he ate it. He lied saying it was an old woman who made it for him, but now I know it was her. Could this be what put him under the spell? And if so, how could I break the spell if she continues to feed him?
Jennifer, do you have a personal religion that you share with your children’s father? If so, I am sensing that a ritual that draws upon your personal spirituality will be the most powerful. If you don’t mind letting me know what it is, I can offer a ritual idea related to it.
Hi Tess,
Thank you for responding. I am not religious, neither is the father, however we both are spiritual and believe in a higher energy in our universe. I am open to any type of ritual no matter the religion involved. I feel she has hexed me as well, as when we lived in our old apartment she had access to, I would find weird powder outside my door and I shrugged it off thinking it was pollen from the trees.
OK, for you I suggest the Rose Overdose cure from this post: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-awesome-ways-to-break-a-hex-or-a-curse/ . For the father, I suggest that you first call on the Divine for help in a way that feels powerful for you. Then immerse his photo in a jar of pistachios (shelled or unshelled) this upcoming Tuesday. Seal the jar, spin it counterclockwise at least one full rotation, and bury it near the base of a tree. See if anything changes in a month.
Ok I will do this. Thank you so much for your help! Have a beautiful day!
One last question, can I use rose water in place of rose essence if it’s all I can obtain?
Rose flower essence is better in this instance. You can find it online for a very affordable price. (Not the essential oil! The flower essence. Like this one: https://www.walmart.com/ip/Flower-Essence-Services-FES-Healing-Herbs-English-Flower-Wild-Rose-1-oz/159712251
Hi Tess,
My children’s father had come back to us and moved in for a week before leaving again two days before Christmas to be with this other woman again. I asked my pendulum if she’s using black magic and it said yes. What can I do?
Jennifer, did you talk to him about this? Is he aware of your suspicions about this woman?
Yes, I confronted him at her house the day he left to go back there. He wasn’t aware I knew where she lived, and so I caught him on her front porch. He came up with an excuse to why he was there but it didn’t match with what he had told me prior to going there. I suspect drugs are involved, why else would he miss Christmas with his own children. I’m at the point now where this is completely out of my hands and there’s nothing I can do to save him.
Jennifer, you are also sensing what I’m sensing. It seems like you’ve done what you can and at this point it will be best for you to let go and move on as best as you can.
Hi Tess,
I watched one youtube video this summer, about attracting what you want in 21 day. One day, girl from the video said, we all need to write this petition that she suggest. She didn’t even mention that it was spell. I was stupid enough to do it. It said write name of person you are interested in 3 times on paper or something like that, fold paper, and put it below the candle. I also put name of that person on the candle. Than I burned it. Plain white paraffin candle. Few days later I throw away that paper, even if she said to keep it. Now I google it, and find out it’s a spell. I still care about that person which name I wrote on candle. I am thinking, maybe I destroyed my chances with him after I did this. What you think?
I think you will be fine! To break the spell, after the full moon on 11/11, write his name on paper and tie a piece of white string around it. Then cut the string with scissors and say, “The spell is broken, I set you free.” Burn the paper safely to further break the spell, then release the ashes in a moving body of water. All the while, feel that you are setting him free from all effects of the ritual. Then turn 360 degrees in a counterclockwise circle and say, “It is done.”
Hi Tess,
I very recently met a guy who had only this year got out of a long term relationship. Us meeting was completely unexpected and we shared quite an intense connection, very positive and mutual feelings for one another. He kept wanting to make plans with me to go on dates and meet up and then after a very silly disagreement broke things off (even though we were never official)and said he thinks it’s best we don’t see each other again. Now usually I would just leave it for what it is and move on. I find it hard to open up and we’re both very similar in that sense. He has told me he has commitment issues and things are just moving to fast. We literally haven’t known each other long at all and I want to respect his wishes so haven’t spoken to him since. However I feel like he was overwhelmed and scared with how fast we were moving so broke things off from fear. Which spell would you recommend from above or would you not recommend one at all?
I suggest any of the spells you feel drawn to in this post: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-putting-a-love-spell-on-someone/