Are you thinking of magicking someone into loving you? Don’t! Here’s why you shouldn’t do a love spell on a specific person, and what to do instead.
“Whom you seek to imprison you do not love.”
~ A Course in Miracles
Look, I know it can be tempting.
But casting a love spell on a specific person is not only unethical, it will also very likely totally suck for you in the long run.
Of course, if you’re in the throes of limerence, it may be difficult to imagine what could possibly suck so much about the person you’re crushing on feeling the same way about you. Well then, let me paint you some pictures.
Do love spells work? Yes. And can you cast a love spell to attract someone awesome? Absolutely. But just don’t cast a love spell on a specific person.
Here’s why: ultimately, when you do a love spell on a specific person, there are no good outcomes. Rather, there are three main ways it could go very wrong.
(For everything you need to know about the dynamics of ethical and successful love magic, check out my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.)
The First Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
You know that what you send out energetically always comes back to you in some form, right? So in this scenario, when you cast the love spell, you cast it on yourself, too. That spell flies right back at you like a boomerang. So now, you both become magically, unnaturally obsessed with the other. Then you get into a really sticky, codependent, basically awful relationship. Maybe it involves violence. At the very least it involves emotional abuse, because overriding someone else’s free will is in itself a form of emotional abuse. So you put that in the mix when you did the spell, and now it’s there. And you’re stuck in the mire of that love spell like a swamp. Any healthy, fun, beautiful relationships you may have had aren’t even a possibility anymore, at least until you do some major magical damage control and extricate yourself from this mess. So don’t do it!
The Second Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
In this scenario, you cast a love spell on a specific person, and that person indeed appears to fall hopelessly in love with you. And…darn: now that they’re acting so foolish, they’re not attractive to you anymore. In addition to making this person miserable, now they also won’t leave you alone. Not to mention, as in scenario 1 (above), since you overrode some else’s free will by casting a spell on them, you’re going to have to deal with some karmic backlash.
The Third Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
The best case scenario, but still a bad one, is that you cast a spell on someone, and that unlucky someone successfully resists the magical pull to enter into a relationship with you. But your spell still boomerangs back and hits you, so you pine for this person much longer than you otherwise would have. You’ve now cast a spell of unhappiness on yourself. Until it wears off or the spell is successfully broken, this presents a challenge to your moods, your ability to focus, and any other romantic relationships you are (or may have otherwise been) involved with.
What to Do Instead of Casting a Love Spell on Someone
As I mentioned above, you can still do a love spell! Just not a love spell on a specific person.
You can’t go wrong when you do a spell to draw ideal romantic conditions and leave the actual person up to the universe. Because if the object of your affection happens to be an ideal partner for you right now, your spell might end up working on them after all! …But if it doesn’t, that just means someone even more perfect for you is on his or her way. So there’s obviously no question that this is the way to go.
If you liked this post, you’ll love my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.
Looking for an ethical love spell? Way to go – good choice! Here are some to choose from:
5 Karma-Friendly Alternatives to Putting a Love Spell on Someone
Love Spell to Attract a Divine Partner
I was speaking to a famous white witch over e-mail and asking her about the ethics of love spells…she said that it can’t backfire and you are not interfering with someone’s free will because basically if their free will says no then their aura will reject the spell…so basically you are just sending loving energy toward them and they can take it or leave it.
The spell I was asking her about was a spell to have someone show more commitment. So I would like to hear your thoughts on it? I am trying to figure out the ethics of this for myself and I was intrigued when I came across this blog which has a totally different perspective.
Is it possible, do you think, to do a spell like “increase commitment” and stipulate that only if it is in the highest good for both parties?
Hi J! I think a couple of the spells in this post might work for your purposes: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-putting-a-love-spell-on-someone/
So I was playing with spells and curiously put a very simple love spell on a man who is now INlove with me and I need to break the spell bc I feel bad … I didn’t think it would work, but it is real, very real . How do I break the spell ???
Tara, collect 14 cedar twigs and hold them in both hands while connecting with the spell you wish to break. Starting at the full moon, release one cedar twig in a moving body of water (or bury it if you don’t have a moving body of water nearby). Repeat daily until the next new moon.
Thank you 🙏
Hey hii… I’m from India and I had been in an on and off relationship with this guy.. But almost like an year ago we broke up but still continued talking.. But now recently he’s stopped talking to me.. Is there a way to know what he exactly thinks of me rn and if we have a future together?
We’ve had a good relationship before this that promised future.
Sakshi, if you were broken up for a year before this, are you sure this relationship was promising? It sounds like it’s possible that letting go of it, and letting go of wanting to know what he thinks, will open you up to something much more promising. Of course I don’t know the whole story, but not talking to you is definitely a red flag.
I know it can be considered as a red flag but we’ve been through this a few times so that’s what gives me hopes.. He’d said that we’ll look into this after sometime.. Now I’m not sure if he just said it for the time to pass or he was serious… That’s why I just need someone to help me through it… It’s almost 5 years now that I’m into him.
Hi Sakshi! See if there’s a spell in this post that calls to you: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-putting-a-love-spell-on-someone/
Thank you ♥
Hey I think that the 2nd spell would be the one! But I’m not really sure about it.. Like I don’t want to by any means forcefully make things right.. At the same time i dont want to let go of him.. I really really love him.. Can you please help me?
You can do it if you get into a neutral space and let go of attachment to outcome to the best of your ability. If it’s your intention for the best possible conditions to unfold (and it sounds like you are), you’re in the right place. This post and also the one with the spells should give you the info you need to proceed.
Please help me, I fear I was put under a love spell except I don’t love him, I’m obsessed with him, how do I fix this. I haven’t been able to eat or drink since maybe a few days ago, I never noticed it but I feel like Im trapped. I’m a 15yr old in high school. I want my life back. I know he put a spell or something on me because I went to bed and suddenly woke up at 3am thinking about this person. I don’t know how but I just want to get rid of it. I’m to young to worry about this. I’ve never thought about this person until the incident happened. I haven’t been eating or sleeping or even going to school. My parents have sensed something was going on and they sent me to a therapist. I don’t want to be sent to a mental institution I just want my life back. Can you please help me get rid of this behavior?y life, future, literally everything is going wrong and this is my last resort. I’m desperately in need of help. Please help me.
Kelly, I’m seeing black tourmaline for you. Can you get a black tourmaline pendant and empower it in sunlight for around 5-10 minutes? Then wear it. It’s ok to take it off briefly, but keep it nearby. You can keep it strong by empowering it in sunlight again maybe every 2-3 days. For now, let’s start with this. And if you have any clutter to clear from your bedroom, I’d clear that too. Maybe come back and let me know how you’re doing after a week with the tourmaline.
what if it’s just a wish, like “I wish for so and so to love me” ? is that considered unethical too?
No, because you can’t help wishes like that! It’s ok if you do a love spell in response to a feeling like that, but set the intention to leave the identity of the person up to the Universe. If a certain person crosses your mind during the spell, it’s OK. Just be sure your intention is open-ended and you’re good.