Are you thinking of magicking someone into loving you? Don’t! Here’s why you shouldn’t do a love spell on a specific person, and what to do instead.
“Whom you seek to imprison you do not love.”
~ A Course in Miracles
Look, I know it can be tempting.
But casting a love spell on a specific person is not only unethical, it will also very likely totally suck for you in the long run.
Of course, if you’re in the throes of limerence, it may be difficult to imagine what could possibly suck so much about the person you’re crushing on feeling the same way about you. Well then, let me paint you some pictures.
Do love spells work? Yes. And can you cast a love spell to attract someone awesome? Absolutely. But just don’t cast a love spell on a specific person.
Here’s why: ultimately, when you do a love spell on a specific person, there are no good outcomes. Rather, there are three main ways it could go very wrong.
(For everything you need to know about the dynamics of ethical and successful love magic, check out my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.)
The First Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
You know that what you send out energetically always comes back to you in some form, right? So in this scenario, when you cast the love spell, you cast it on yourself, too. That spell flies right back at you like a boomerang. So now, you both become magically, unnaturally obsessed with the other. Then you get into a really sticky, codependent, basically awful relationship. Maybe it involves violence. At the very least it involves emotional abuse, because overriding someone else’s free will is in itself a form of emotional abuse. So you put that in the mix when you did the spell, and now it’s there. And you’re stuck in the mire of that love spell like a swamp. Any healthy, fun, beautiful relationships you may have had aren’t even a possibility anymore, at least until you do some major magical damage control and extricate yourself from this mess. So don’t do it!
The Second Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
In this scenario, you cast a love spell on a specific person, and that person indeed appears to fall hopelessly in love with you. And…darn: now that they’re acting so foolish, they’re not attractive to you anymore. In addition to making this person miserable, now they also won’t leave you alone. Not to mention, as in scenario 1 (above), since you overrode some else’s free will by casting a spell on them, you’re going to have to deal with some karmic backlash.
The Third Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
The best case scenario, but still a bad one, is that you cast a spell on someone, and that unlucky someone successfully resists the magical pull to enter into a relationship with you. But your spell still boomerangs back and hits you, so you pine for this person much longer than you otherwise would have. You’ve now cast a spell of unhappiness on yourself. Until it wears off or the spell is successfully broken, this presents a challenge to your moods, your ability to focus, and any other romantic relationships you are (or may have otherwise been) involved with.
What to Do Instead of Casting a Love Spell on Someone
As I mentioned above, you can still do a love spell! Just not a love spell on a specific person.
You can’t go wrong when you do a spell to draw ideal romantic conditions and leave the actual person up to the universe. Because if the object of your affection happens to be an ideal partner for you right now, your spell might end up working on them after all! …But if it doesn’t, that just means someone even more perfect for you is on his or her way. So there’s obviously no question that this is the way to go.
If you liked this post, you’ll love my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.
Looking for an ethical love spell? Way to go – good choice! Here are some to choose from:
5 Karma-Friendly Alternatives to Putting a Love Spell on Someone
Love Spell to Attract a Divine Partner
Hi tess, am Julie. I dated someone for 5 years and we were so in love, but his parents said they don’t want him getting married to me, he had tried to persuade his parents but they still refused. Sometimes he stops calling me like someone being used charm on. We have been on and off, we still madly in love with each other and know our union will be awesome. I am confused on what to do and how to get the parents to like me. Please help, a day does not pass without me crying about the issue.
Hi Julie! I suggest spell #5 from this post: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-putting-a-love-spell-on-someone/
Hi tess i am gloria i need your help here i have been in a relationship with a certain guy and he used to love me and i love him so much,he had a plan of marrying me but before that i lost a job and i told him then he said we are going to open for me a business i gave him some part of my money for buying things for starting up the business and he told me he bought the things now this guy ever since he has never taken my money but this time after him taking my money he does not want to meet me i told him its fine with me even if he used that money for something else i have no problem because my money is his money too all i want is for us to be together as usually and i have even got another job but this guy i guess he is just scared of me and i love him so much i do not know what do to make him understand me i do not want to lose him ,he even told me not to call his phone yet that he will call me ,he is busy so please help me i love him so much ,i do not see something good in my life without him ,its now one week ever since i spoke to him and he has not call me either please what should i do.
Hi there! I suggest #5 from this post: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-putting-a-love-spell-on-someone/
Hi Tess!
I tried to read all the comments, so if anyone have already asked this, I’m sorry!
I don’t want to do a love spell, but I’m wondering if it’s correct to help someone heal from a breakup.
These two friends of mine have been together for more than 15 years, living together for 8 (they also bought a house together 5 years ago or so). Last December the girl left him for another man (officially December, but for fairness she had already talked to him in September/October), and he obviously suffered a lot. Now, after all these months, he’s still very sad, they live in another country so he have no friends there. So, being alone with no distractions, it’s very difficult to him to overcome this situation. He feels as if they had broken up yesterday.
It breaks my heart to see him in this situation, and I would love to help him leave this behind and to look forward!
Thank you so much for your help, and sorry if there’s any error, English is not my mother language!
Have a beautiful day.
Gray, that’s a very sweet magical intention, and your English is lovely! Maybe #4 from the post linked after this comment would be good for him, if he is open to it? https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-putting-a-love-spell-on-someone/
Hi Tess,
Need an insight from you on my situation please. 2 years back I was with a boy for few months and then broke up too because we were not getting time to meet often. Considering he and I stay really far from each other and we had different work timings, weekends he had spend with his family (he stays with his family unlike me). Even though it’s been 2+ years that we’ve parted our ways, I am still in love with him and deep down in my heart he’s the one for me. I have dated quite a few guys in my past and in one I was in a very serious relationship which for 4.5 years but with this guy I had been with him for on few months and I feel he’s the one for me. Currently, he is with a girl from his workplace. Both the boy and the girl he’s with my checking out my feeds regularly. I don’t both are aware that both of them check my feeds.
What should I do? Everyday my energy goes in thinking about him.
Hi Maria! I suggest reading the entire article I’ve linked at the end of this comment (from start to finish). Do any of these five practices call to you? You can do more than one if you like. https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-putting-a-love-spell-on-someone/
Good evening Tess thank you for your post regarding love spells I agree with you wholeheartedly. You know I went into a candle shop a few years ago and was asked about lighting a love candle for my ex-husband and I declined it because if a person loves you it should be of their own free will and not because their will was taken. Love is about choice and should never be forced. Well I have of late experienced just the opposite. After 30 years my first love came back into my life and I was happy to hear from him. He sent me text messages every morning like clockwork such that if my phone went off I knew it was him. The good morning messages, goodnight messages, funny memes, flowers, hearts, photographs, scripture and telephone conversations just blew my mind. One night even we spoke on the phone for 3 hours and 12 minutes it was so amazing. He usually as most men is quiet and I think he just wanted to satisfy me while truly enjoying our time together. It was as if My Dear Mother who passed away God rest her soul in peace did not want me to be alone because of the tremendous amount of love I have inside of me. Because that is how my first love found me I went into my Mother’s guestbook on Dignity memorial on line to add a memory and saw that he had added one. Well I knew he was married so I did not try to contact him. Then I went in to add another memory for My Dear Mother and this time he had left his phone number. So I said well I should at least thank him for remembering my Mother and giving his condolences so I called him. That is when he told me that he was divorced and so was I it was like it was meant to be. And for six months it was a dream come true. He also had kept pictures of me that he had taken and sent me the one in my bikini and said do you remember this young lady. I was so touched. Then the horror began. I could sense some sarcasm in his responses to me along with some doubt. It was time for a reading so I went and found out that his ex was around and had burned a breakup candle on us. Apparently, his focus was on me and we were talking about him coming out to California, but that seems that it will never happen now. The negative vibrations from the breakup candle caused a misunderstanding between us and I have not heard from him now in 9 weeks. This man when we first fell in love in California was in the military and had gotten stationed in Georgia where he suffered a near fatal car accident. When he was able to be released from the hospital the first thing he did was drive cross country back to me in California. Then he went back to Alabama and I decided to go to college in Alabama to be near him it was nice. They say if you let love go it would come back to you, but now I am afraid and I have tried to reach out to him, but no response. I even believe he blocked my number. It hurts, but I still love him! What should I do? This spell seems so strong and she has the upper hand I know he loves me, but have I lost him now forever. Thank you God bless you Tess. Foreverbrokenhearted! Yvonne
Hi Yvonne! I suggest #5 from this post: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-putting-a-love-spell-on-someone/ ~ As heartbreaking as this situation is, it’s best if you can release it to the Universe by requesting the best possible outcome, and then trust.
Dear Tess,
I just want to say thank you I could not agree with you more leaving it up to the Universe and Divine intervention is the only way. I trust God and know that He shall not put upon me more than it is that I can bear. I worry about my first love, but I will put those energies into prayer and ask God for mercy. Thank you for your kind words and I appreciate all that you are doing. You are definitely walking in the Light! Peace, Yvonne Abdullah