Banish guilt, self-judgment, and self-criticism with one of these simple and effective self-forgiveness rituals.
No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. We’re all learning as we go.
That being said, the truer truth is that everyone is permanently perfect. Including you.
The human experience is one in which we are all temporarily mesmerized by an illusion. It’s an illusion of separation, discord, and struggle. Within this illusion, we are all imperfect and we all make mistakes. It’s an illusion that seems very real. Because it seems so real, it makes sense to have compassion for ourselves when we are overtaken by it, and see ourselves as somehow lacking or even fatally flawed.
The illusion, though, can distract us from the reality: that the only truth of our nature is love. That’s all we are. That’s all we’ve ever been. There is nothing we can do that will permanently obscure this truth.
From both these levels of perception, we can find healing. Within the illusion, we can remember that all of us blame ourselves for terrible things we think we’ve done, or things we think we should have done, but didn’t do. We all see ourselves as flawed, and suffer about it. Recognizing of the universal quality of what we are experiencing can bring some degree of relief.
Then, by shifting our awareness to our true identity, which is Pure Divine Perfection, we can find it easier to let go of whatever it is we’ve been beating ourselves up for, so we can forgive ourselves and be free.
One of the reasons we hang on so tightly to self-blame is because we think it will make us better people. It won’t. On the other hand, by letting go of the past and loving yourself no matter what – i.e. forgiving yourself – you step into all the power and beauty of the present moment. That’s where you can spread love, ignite joy, and encourage healing. Because that’s the only moment there is.
When you forgive yourself, you free up your natural power to be a force of good in the world.
Here are three simple rituals to help you do just that.
1. Stand in a Strong Breeze
On a windy day, go to an inspiring natural setting, or simply step out onto your patio or into your yard. While facing the wind, hold your arms away from your body as if you are going to give someone a giant hug. Close your eyes and take some deep breaths. Call on the Divine in a way that feels powerful for you. Silently or aloud, say, “I am willing to offer up these flaws and mistakes for healing and purification. I am willing to let them go completely and to be cleansed in this powerfully positive wind of Spirit. I am willing to connect with the Divine Perfection that is who I am in truth. I am willing to forgive myself, and I definitively choose to do so now. Thank you.” Stand in the wind for a while longer while imagining all your old grudges and grievances toward yourself being whisked away and healed.
2. Dunk in Salt Water
If you live by an ocean and it’s warm and safe enough to take a dunk in it, visit your favorite beach. Otherwise, light your bathroom with a white soy candle, draw a bath, and dissolve a cup of sea salt in the water. (If you don’t have a bathtub or an ocean to dunk in, choose one of the other rituals in this post.) Completely immerse yourself in the water from the neck down. Invoke divine support in a way that feels right to you. Inwardly or aloud, say, “Sacred waters, purify me. Sacred waters, I willingly release all negative thoughts toward myself and my past. Cleanse them from me and transmute them into pure positivity and blessings now. Thank you.” Soak in the water for a while longer (especially if it’s not freezing cold) as you sense the salt water detoxifying all old un-forgiveness from your energy field.
3. Bask in a Sunset
Just before sunset, go somewhere outside where you can adequately view it; possibly a park, a natural setting, or your own backyard. Sit or stand comfortably, with your spine straight, facing west and gazing toward the sun (but not at the sun). Close your eyes and feel the sunlight bathing you in its detoxifying, healing energy. Call on Divine support in a way that feels authentic to you. Say or think, “Sacred Sun, Divine made visible, purify me of all old grudges I’ve been holding toward myself. I am willing to release them now. Purge me of them. Carry them with you as you descend, and transform them into love.” Open your eyes and feel the sunlight cleansing you while also knowing and sensing that as the sun disappears over the horizon, so will your negative thoughts about yourself.
Did you try one of these self-forgiveness rituals? How did it go?
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I’ve done all three of these when my parents passed away. The pain was unbelievable. Their health declined in their last 6 years, it was a long goodbye. So much tears, feeling helpless. I wished I could’ve gave them the world but I was also struggling too. All three of these rituals I did several times until I got back some of my equilibrium. During this time I had to cut ties with a spiritual mentor-friend who became a controlling spiritual fanatic. Then Covid came and took away my business of 25 years, and my volunteer position caring for cats at the cat colony. So much to process in such a short time. I threw myself into gardening, cooking, creating potions, meditation and whatever. Now I feel at peace and accepting of all that happened. I still miss and remember my parents. I am practicing my spiritual magic solo. I also made a new friend at work. Began socializing with sister and relatives once a month. I got a new contract and rebuilding a new kind of business. I reluctantly forced myself to learn some computer and technology to keep up with the changing times. Adopted 2 cats to love at home. After all that turmoil and stepping outside of my comfort zone, the rituals helped in my surrender to a new way of living.
Tess Whitehurst says
Well put, Redhen. Grieving is always excruciating. There’s no way around it. But you described it well, and it sounds like you took care of yourself well. ❤️
Heidi Baxter says
LOVE THESE! So happy to have some alternatives since the water is freezing here in Eastern Canada this time of year! 😉 Thank you as always Tess, for the wonderful ideas and love you put out into the world!
Tess Whitehurst says
Heidi, I’m so glad you love these! Thank you for letting me know and for your kind words.