A healthy boundary is an awareness of what feels true and right for you, combined with a clear choice to honor this awareness in thought, word, energy, and action.
And when it comes to your holistic wellbeing, healthy boundaries are a really big deal.
Why? Because a lack of healthy boundaries comes with a whole host of challenges. Due to the resulting energy drain, you may begin to feel fatigued, resentful, anxious, depressed, physically unwell, or even broke (if your boundary is related to money).
What Boundaries Are Not
A healthy boundary does not mean you are closed off from others. Quite the contrary: it’s only when you have healthy boundaries that you can connect fully with others in a nourishing, sustainable way.
While healthy boundaries will certainly inspire you to steer clear of certain relationships, they will also attract healthy people into your life, with whom you can be fully yourself.
And by knowing where you end and others begin, your thoughts, feelings, and opinions will not be confusingly muddled with those of others. In other words, you’ll know what they are. Only then are you empowered to share what you actually think and feel.
Of course, when your relationships are healthy, the people in your life don’t want you to be a faithful echo or mirror of their needs and opinions. They want you to be your authentic self. They want to know when you don’t want to do something. They want to know when you disagree. They want to hear your opinion, even if it’s different than theirs. And if there’s a conflict between you, they don’t want you to capitulate just to avoid conflict. They want to stick around and work it out.
How to Cultivate a Healthy Boundary Habit
In my personal experience, a daily meditation practice is the absolute best thing for being able to establish healthy boundaries regularly and as a matter of course. If I didn’t take time every morning to notice my breath and tune in deeply to the silence and the stillness within and around me, I really don’t know how I’d be able to untangle the awareness of my own energy field and the energy fields of others. It helps me to know myself and sensitize myself to my own desires, opinions, and needs.
I also like to include an energetic clearing and shielding visualization in my meditation practice pretty much every single day. Everything is energy, after all. So this helps me not just feel energetically clear and protected, but also emotionally and even physically (though I still take safety precautions in the physical world). Here’s a post I wrote about keeping your energy clear and positive, and here’s a guided meditation video I created to clear and shield your energy. Here’s another one.
Learning to speak your truth clearly, and doing so regularly, is another important boundary setting habit. Here’s a recent video I created on this topic.
Energetic Tools and Practices for Healthy Boundaries
I’ve found that sleeping with a black tourmaline (crystal) in my hand not only helps me relax and sleep deeply, it’s also a way to protect energy field while I sleep. Sleeping can be an energetically vulnerable time, after all, and black tourmaline can both shield and renew your aura while your sleep.
When I feel I could use an extra bit of spiritual protection throughout the day, it’s my habit to call on Archangel Michael and Archangel Raphael to refresh the sphere of bright, white, protective light around my body and energy field.
If you’d like to work a bit of magic for an extra dose of boundary-setting protection, check out this post I wrote about how to create a Powerful Protection Charm for Empaths. (Even if you don’t consider yourself an empath, it can provide support as you learn to establish healthy boundaries.)
To go deeper into this topic (which is something I highly recommend for sensitive people everywhere), you might like to check out Assertiveness for Earth Angels by Doreen Virtue, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, and/or Codependent No More by Melonie Beattie. Additionally, my own book, The Good Energy Book, has a lot of helpful energetic and magical practices for establishing healthy boundaries.
Setting healthy boundaries will support every aspect of your magical spiritual path, and it is absolutely something you can learn how to do. Even though it’s a lifelong learning process, the more we do it, the better we get at it.