Are you thinking of magicking someone into loving you? Don’t! Here’s why you shouldn’t do a love spell on a specific person, and what to do instead.
“Whom you seek to imprison you do not love.”
~ A Course in Miracles
Look, I know it can be tempting.
But casting a love spell on a specific person is not only unethical, it will also very likely totally suck for you in the long run.
Of course, if you’re in the throes of limerence, it may be difficult to imagine what could possibly suck so much about the person you’re crushing on feeling the same way about you. Well then, let me paint you some pictures.
Do love spells work? Yes. And can you cast a love spell to attract someone awesome? Absolutely. But just don’t cast a love spell on a specific person.
Here’s why: ultimately, when you do a love spell on a specific person, there are no good outcomes. Rather, there are three main ways it could go very wrong.
(For everything you need to know about the dynamics of ethical and successful love magic, check out my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.)
The First Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
You know that what you send out energetically always comes back to you in some form, right? So in this scenario, when you cast the love spell, you cast it on yourself, too. That spell flies right back at you like a boomerang. So now, you both become magically, unnaturally obsessed with the other. Then you get into a really sticky, codependent, basically awful relationship. Maybe it involves violence. At the very least it involves emotional abuse, because overriding someone else’s free will is in itself a form of emotional abuse. So you put that in the mix when you did the spell, and now it’s there. And you’re stuck in the mire of that love spell like a swamp. Any healthy, fun, beautiful relationships you may have had aren’t even a possibility anymore, at least until you do some major magical damage control and extricate yourself from this mess. So don’t do it!
The Second Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
In this scenario, you cast a love spell on a specific person, and that person indeed appears to fall hopelessly in love with you. And…darn: now that they’re acting so foolish, they’re not attractive to you anymore. In addition to making this person miserable, now they also won’t leave you alone. Not to mention, as in scenario 1 (above), since you overrode some else’s free will by casting a spell on them, you’re going to have to deal with some karmic backlash.
The Third Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
The best case scenario, but still a bad one, is that you cast a spell on someone, and that unlucky someone successfully resists the magical pull to enter into a relationship with you. But your spell still boomerangs back and hits you, so you pine for this person much longer than you otherwise would have. You’ve now cast a spell of unhappiness on yourself. Until it wears off or the spell is successfully broken, this presents a challenge to your moods, your ability to focus, and any other romantic relationships you are (or may have otherwise been) involved with.
What to Do Instead of Casting a Love Spell on Someone
As I mentioned above, you can still do a love spell! Just not a love spell on a specific person.
You can’t go wrong when you do a spell to draw ideal romantic conditions and leave the actual person up to the universe. Because if the object of your affection happens to be an ideal partner for you right now, your spell might end up working on them after all! …But if it doesn’t, that just means someone even more perfect for you is on his or her way. So there’s obviously no question that this is the way to go.
If you liked this post, you’ll love my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.
Looking for an ethical love spell? Way to go – good choice! Here are some to choose from:
5 Karma-Friendly Alternatives to Putting a Love Spell on Someone
Love Spell to Attract a Divine Partner
Simple Sandalwood and Rose Love Spell
Discover more from Tess Whitehurst
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Love spells show the true will of your spouse. You can’t handle it so you try to “fix” it and say we are the ones forcing you into a state of co-dependency when it is the other way around.
HI
I have been married for over 4 years to a great guy. Except for one thing, he cannot stop secretly obsessing over one of my relatives. When we are out and about in town he looks for her, turns his head to every white vehicle( she used to drive one) he stares over at her place of her former employment, all the music he listens to are about missing someone. The strange thing is he hasn’t seen her in over 5 years but can remember everything about the few conversations he had with her, small talk. He will deny everything I have seen over the years, we’ve had arguments and have gone in circles. He threatens to leave me if I talk bad about her, it is insulting to him! It has gotten worse over the years, the only time it doesn’t happen is when I do a smudge around the house. I do know that she put a love spell on her now husband years ago, but is now cursed with health issues that cannot be cured. I do not believe my husband was a target but I believe that he has similar health issues like her. I know where she works and he doesn’t, but he will stare at the building like he is drawn to it. I know people who don’t believe in this will think I’m crazy, and sometimes I feel like I am because this is not only bizarre but it has caused a strain in our relationship. What can I do to break this? He is now watching a series and the main character looks a lot like her, going crazy in this place ! I’d appreciate your help, thank you -Linda
Linda, this sounds so challenging! I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. Tuning into your situation, I’m getting that it will be helpful for you to invoke the help of Bast, the Egyptian cat goddess. Create an altar to her in your house. Start with a simple statue of her (any size), and add a candle and incense holder. If you like, you can add anything else that feels right as well (crystals, flowers, etc.). Inwardly invoke her assistance with the situation, light the candle, and burn a little incense to her at least once a day. Repeat until the situation feels resolved.
Tess,
Thank you for your prompt response, I will do so, hopefully this awful curse will finally be put to rest! I will keep you posted, again many thanks! -Linda
My now ex partner has been put under a love spell by a jealous woman and he is now absusive and drug dependent. What can I do to help him.
Charlie, I’m so sorry to hear this! You can call on angels (particularly Archangel Michael) to help him and visualize white light around him regularly.
Lol the devil made him do it. Maybe he is just an ass and you shouldn’t waste time fixing him.
There’s no doubt some that a certain Rasputin like character has me involved in this kind of spell. I’ve been using all of my will to stay away from him. It’s damaging to my current relationship and the rest of my left. The way I obsess in my mind about him is painful. How do I protect myself?
Anne, so sorry to hear that you were the victim of such an ethical breach. Here’s a post with some ideas for how to break the spell: http://tesswhitehurst.com/5-awesome-ways-to-break-a-hex-or-a-curse/ (Even though it sounds like you’re under a love spell, which is not technically a hex or a curse, the dynamic is the same.)
Wow – thanks. These look great. Very relieved!
Set is the God of love spells and provides balance with Ra against chaos. The hydra and the Phoenix need each other. However, two Phoenixes are likely to both go up in flames. The right hand needs the left and vice versa. Oh, and if the magic typically has no blowback if it is already aligned with the targets will. It can only accentuate it. This does not typically provide the boomerang affect that RHP witches fear.
Haha yeah this is a lesson I learned the hard way… I didn’t know about ethics or anything about witchcraft for that matter. I thought it was such a great idea! Now he will love me too and he will be happy. Ahhhh nope. He loved me alright but he wasn’t quite ready to settle down so there was lots and lots of cheating. So I did be faithful spell. He became so miserable and lost the spark he had that I fell in love with. He stayed home started drinking more and became emotionally abusive….
Long story short heed the warning and don’t do it!!! Love yourself first and learn to be happy alone first so you won’t even feel the need to do a love spell on a person.
Very well said Jamie, thank you for sharing your experience! So glad you made it through and learned from it in the process.
I need some help REALLY BAD!! I never been involved with spells but a friend of my ex brought something to my attention that kind of explains some feelings that I’ve been having for over a year and I can not shake them.
Hi there! It’s unclear from your comment exactly what you need help with, but perhaps there’s something in this post that will help: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-awesome-ways-to-break-a-hex-or-a-curse/
I needed help, my ex partner he is the father of my son, I want him back into our life coz my son love him so much. He will benefit lots from him if we all live together as family, we are very good together , we spent holidays with him in his house each time is the best time me n my son ever have. We love his present around us ,,but for some reasons he is not talking about getting back to us . We split up 5 years ago he is not married .he is a good father to our son ,I would love to have all my kids with him . I can’t tell if he still love me or not .He has never make any moves please I need help.
Hi Vanessa! Did you see something in the spell suggestions at the bottom of the post that called to you?
Hi. No I didn’t see anything, I m asking for help if their is anything I can do to put my family back together. Any suggestions?
I suggest #2 from this post: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-putting-a-love-spell-on-someone/
Hi I have been loving a boy since 4 years and I am.also not been able to forget him now I want him to love me back he is my ex ….I.love him and I also dnt want to cast any kind of spell upon him so can you please tell that is it possible that my wish can come true ever if yes then how…..
Annanya, did you see this post? https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-putting-a-love-spell-on-someone/
Hi I have a question someone put a love spell or binding spell on my husband. How can it be broken please help
Michelle, I’m getting the feeling you might benefit from connecting with Sen Elias at Crescent City Conjure. Here’s his website: https://crescentcityconjure.us/
I have a situation I m in so I been seeing this woman who’s married but haven’t been married for long we both have feelings for each other she isn’t happy with her husband they been off and on for 7 years he cheats on her alot you can tell she really doesn’t want to be with him but she has a child with him plus she helps him with his other kids from a previous relationship I Know I shouldn’t be messing with her but I can’t help myself she told me she has feelings for me and she thinks about me often what should I do
Well, if she is not leaving her husband, that is a clear sign that she is not available for you to have a healthy relationship with. So I suggest doing a cord cutting meditation like this one and opening yourself up to another relationship: https://tesswhitehurst.com/cord-cutting-meditation/ If at some point she breaks it off with her husband, and you are still available, you can revisit the situation then. But until then, I would respect yourself and respect her decision to stay in that situation by steering clear.
Hi can I use aloe lotion or any kind of aloe? For spell 2?
I wouldn’t use lotion. If you can find aloe vera gel, it will be much better.
I casted a love spell when I was much younger and naive and I’ve faced the third outcome. It worked but then after 2 weeks, she seemed to completely lose interest and I’ve been “pining” for her for 3 years now. It would be amazing if you could give me some suggestions
Sure! I recommend the Rose Overdose Cure from this post: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-awesome-ways-to-break-a-hex-or-a-curse/
That was a great way to put things but what if you are having trouble finding or loving yourself.. can’t someone be a friend aka lover and help you through the rough times.. it kinda gets old struggling alone.. a lil help and a best friend would be good right now.. I’m exhausted and about to give up
Shaleah, don’t give up! Here are some ideas for self love: https://tesswhitehurst.com/the-self-love-checklist-are-you-treating-yourself-like-solid-gold/ …And here are some ideas for shifting your mood and energy: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-spells-to-get-yourself-out-of-a-funk/
Agreed i knew little of ethical witchcraft I did this and ended up in a ten year abusive relationship ruined his life and mine. I stayed until I had a friend who broke the spell for me who was far more knowledgeable