Are you thinking of magicking someone into loving you? Don’t! Here’s why you shouldn’t do a love spell on a specific person, and what to do instead.
“Whom you seek to imprison you do not love.”
~ A Course in Miracles
Look, I know it can be tempting.
But casting a love spell on a specific person is not only unethical, it will also very likely totally suck for you in the long run.
Of course, if you’re in the throes of limerence, it may be difficult to imagine what could possibly suck so much about the person you’re crushing on feeling the same way about you. Well then, let me paint you some pictures.
Do love spells work? Yes. And can you cast a love spell to attract someone awesome? Absolutely. But just don’t cast a love spell on a specific person.
Here’s why: ultimately, when you do a love spell on a specific person, there are no good outcomes. Rather, there are three main ways it could go very wrong.
(For everything you need to know about the dynamics of ethical and successful love magic, check out my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.)
The First Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
You know that what you send out energetically always comes back to you in some form, right? So in this scenario, when you cast the love spell, you cast it on yourself, too. That spell flies right back at you like a boomerang. So now, you both become magically, unnaturally obsessed with the other. Then you get into a really sticky, codependent, basically awful relationship. Maybe it involves violence. At the very least it involves emotional abuse, because overriding someone else’s free will is in itself a form of emotional abuse. So you put that in the mix when you did the spell, and now it’s there. And you’re stuck in the mire of that love spell like a swamp. Any healthy, fun, beautiful relationships you may have had aren’t even a possibility anymore, at least until you do some major magical damage control and extricate yourself from this mess. So don’t do it!
The Second Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
In this scenario, you cast a love spell on a specific person, and that person indeed appears to fall hopelessly in love with you. And…darn: now that they’re acting so foolish, they’re not attractive to you anymore. In addition to making this person miserable, now they also won’t leave you alone. Not to mention, as in scenario 1 (above), since you overrode some else’s free will by casting a spell on them, you’re going to have to deal with some karmic backlash.
The Third Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
The best case scenario, but still a bad one, is that you cast a spell on someone, and that unlucky someone successfully resists the magical pull to enter into a relationship with you. But your spell still boomerangs back and hits you, so you pine for this person much longer than you otherwise would have. You’ve now cast a spell of unhappiness on yourself. Until it wears off or the spell is successfully broken, this presents a challenge to your moods, your ability to focus, and any other romantic relationships you are (or may have otherwise been) involved with.
What to Do Instead of Casting a Love Spell on Someone
As I mentioned above, you can still do a love spell! Just not a love spell on a specific person.
You can’t go wrong when you do a spell to draw ideal romantic conditions and leave the actual person up to the universe. Because if the object of your affection happens to be an ideal partner for you right now, your spell might end up working on them after all! …But if it doesn’t, that just means someone even more perfect for you is on his or her way. So there’s obviously no question that this is the way to go.
If you liked this post, you’ll love my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.
Looking for an ethical love spell? Way to go – good choice! Here are some to choose from:
5 Karma-Friendly Alternatives to Putting a Love Spell on Someone
Love Spell to Attract a Divine Partner
Simple Sandalwood and Rose Love Spell
Discover more from Tess Whitehurst
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How do I know if there’s a love spell that has been cast on me or any kind of spell that has been cast on me?
Mila, I am not getting the sense that a spell has been cast on you. But if you feel there’s a negative or challenging vibration in your energy field, any of the cures from this post will help, whether or not you are under any sort of enchantment: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-awesome-ways-to-break-a-hex-or-a-curse/
Yes I cast a love spell and it had the complete opposite effect. Almost immediately he began to hate me and it’s been a rapid downhill hell from that very day .
Hi Malaya! To reverse the effects, you might try the Rose Overdose Cure from this post: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-awesome-ways-to-break-a-hex-or-a-curse/
My boyfriend confessed to cheating on me 3 times. I’m really in love with him, we’ve known each other since high school. I want him to love me the way I love him and be faithful. What kind of spell should I use for that?
Angel, I suggest doing a tarot or oracle reading first, to gain guidance on what is your best course of action. You deserve someone who genuinely WANTS to be faithful to you, rather than someone you’ve magicked into doing so. That’s not to say this guy isn’t capable of that. I just sense that more clarity is required on your part before you take any sort of action, magical or otherwise.
Hey Tess,
I had a complicated relationship with a man whom I loved a lot but I just couldn’t seem to get past my issues and make the relationship work. However I was honest from the beginning of my relationship about my limitations and my intent to work hard on myself through therapy and other means and he said he would stand by me and made me promise to stand by him. He got fed up after an argument we had one day and left. And not only did he leave but he stopped talking to me and when he did it was just to argue and yell. He also moved somewhere about 40 minutes away almost immediately and in our communication would lie to me about not being able to work his phone etc. Despite this he would occasionally still reach out but the conversations hurt. The original breakup occurred in November and by January he had a girlfriend who he had been flirting with since way before as I saw later via social media posts. I am hurt by this and of course considered a love spell but I have no ill will despite how poorly he treated me toward him or the person he is dating. I simply just want a reconciliation where he understands how bad his actions hurt me because I feel broken now. I just want us to be able to actually have a normal conversation but I know he has to be the one to actually reach out. Is there a spell for this?
Yas, very good question! In magic, it’s always best to seek resolution within yourself, regardless of the behavior of others. Otherwise, you risk affecting their free will which is never a good idea. That being said, doing magic on YOURSELF to create closure can often help create ripples of positive change in the world outside of you, including your relationships. I suggest that you read a book called The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz.
Thanks so much Tess for getting back to me. I am going to use this time to focus on me and I will check out that book you recommended. I do not plan to ever initiate a love spell on someone else but is there a spell that you recommend just to bring love into your life? Or to make you better able to pursue love if the opportunity presents itself? Like a general love spell.
Hi Yas! Yes, this one: https://tesswhitehurst.com/love-spell-to-attract-a-divine-partner/
Hey Tess,
First off I just want to thank you for all of your advice. I looked into the love spell you sent me and i know a new moon is coming up. I noticed you said you cannot think of anyone specific which I completely understand and do not plan to. Unfortunately my ex has been in my dreams of late which has transferred into my daily thoughts unfortunately. Could this be a problem if the thought of someone happens to cross your mind during the spell even though it is not intentional?
No, that will be fine. Just do your best to concentrate on the way you want to feel in the relationship, rather than whom you want it to be with.
Hey Tess,
My apologies for bothering you again I know you have answered a few of my questions regarding this topic. I have been unable despite many tries to move past this person, including trying hypnosis and healing spells. I was just curious if you had any recommendations and how you felt about remorse spells as I was really hurt by this individual and there was another person involved?
Hi Yas! No problem. It will most benefit you to let go of how the other person or people involved are feeling and instead to concentrate on healing yourself. Have you tried a cord cutting spell or meditation? Have you released all items from your home that remind you of this person?
Hey Tess,
I appreciate you so much because honestly this blog is what kept me sane throughout dealing with this heartbreak because I think when you’re hurt your mind goes to hurting back or getting them back. I have not tried a cord cutting spell and mediation I just tried today. I have nothing of his anymore I got rid of it all even a ring I loved. It is his birthday today so I think that may have played a part and the fact that he moved on to someone else. I have fought myself down when it comes to spell casting especially spells regarding him and his current relationship because I guess any spell placed on anyone else is bad, even a spell for remorse when you have been wronged? Or a contact spell? You’re right I need to try and focus just on me. Is the cord cutting spell one I can cast myself?
Hi Yas! Great to hear the blog has been helpful. I think your insights are correct regarding spells done to affect the feelings of others: best to avoid those. On the other hand, you can definitely you can do cord cutting spells and meditations for and by yourself. 🙂
Please help ..me and other half my son’s father whom I love so very much has split up cause I just couldn’t handle the cheating I mean his exes hate me really hate me and he said I’m honest enough to say I love you and I know you love me we talked about marriage and all he told one of the exes we was gonna get married but they hate me so they would rather see me dead cause they know no matter what I have real love for him .I ask him why do you cheat be with different women if you say you love me ..and what puzzles me the most is he looked at me and said I don’t know cause I really love you I can’t explain it It’s hard to fight he said I wouldn’t understand .I want to hate his guys but I feel that he really needs help I love him so much and it hurts cause we are separated for almost a week now he say he not coming back cause I jumped him but I was mad as hell and tired of it but I can see clearly he needs help and it’s blinding him he told me I know I can’t find nobody to love me like you but he still cheated do you think it’s help for me and him I love him so much
Mimi, this sounds like a really unhealthy dynamic. I suggest that you talk to a therapist to heal these old patterns. Not sure if you’ve heard of it, but there’s an app called TalkSpace that connects people with therapists online and over the phone for a fraction of what many therapists cost: https://www.talkspace.com
I will look in to the therapist but I really feel like someone has a spell on him to keep him away from me and my son 2other church leaders has told me that it’s evil forces to destroy us . Is there something I could do quickly to try and stop this evil I really want my family back together