Are you thinking of magicking someone into loving you? Don’t! Here’s why you shouldn’t do a love spell on a specific person, and what to do instead.
“Whom you seek to imprison you do not love.”
~ A Course in Miracles
Look, I know it can be tempting.
But casting a love spell on a specific person is not only unethical, it will also very likely totally suck for you in the long run.
Of course, if you’re in the throes of limerence, it may be difficult to imagine what could possibly suck so much about the person you’re crushing on feeling the same way about you. Well then, let me paint you some pictures.
Do love spells work? Yes. And can you cast a love spell to attract someone awesome? Absolutely. But just don’t cast a love spell on a specific person.
Here’s why: ultimately, when you do a love spell on a specific person, there are no good outcomes. Rather, there are three main ways it could go very wrong.
(For everything you need to know about the dynamics of ethical and successful love magic, check out my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.)
The First Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
You know that what you send out energetically always comes back to you in some form, right? So in this scenario, when you cast the love spell, you cast it on yourself, too. That spell flies right back at you like a boomerang. So now, you both become magically, unnaturally obsessed with the other. Then you get into a really sticky, codependent, basically awful relationship. Maybe it involves violence. At the very least it involves emotional abuse, because overriding someone else’s free will is in itself a form of emotional abuse. So you put that in the mix when you did the spell, and now it’s there. And you’re stuck in the mire of that love spell like a swamp. Any healthy, fun, beautiful relationships you may have had aren’t even a possibility anymore, at least until you do some major magical damage control and extricate yourself from this mess. So don’t do it!
The Second Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
In this scenario, you cast a love spell on a specific person, and that person indeed appears to fall hopelessly in love with you. And…darn: now that they’re acting so foolish, they’re not attractive to you anymore. In addition to making this person miserable, now they also won’t leave you alone. Not to mention, as in scenario 1 (above), since you overrode some else’s free will by casting a spell on them, you’re going to have to deal with some karmic backlash.
The Third Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
The best case scenario, but still a bad one, is that you cast a spell on someone, and that unlucky someone successfully resists the magical pull to enter into a relationship with you. But your spell still boomerangs back and hits you, so you pine for this person much longer than you otherwise would have. You’ve now cast a spell of unhappiness on yourself. Until it wears off or the spell is successfully broken, this presents a challenge to your moods, your ability to focus, and any other romantic relationships you are (or may have otherwise been) involved with.
What to Do Instead of Casting a Love Spell on Someone
As I mentioned above, you can still do a love spell! Just not a love spell on a specific person.
You can’t go wrong when you do a spell to draw ideal romantic conditions and leave the actual person up to the universe. Because if the object of your affection happens to be an ideal partner for you right now, your spell might end up working on them after all! …But if it doesn’t, that just means someone even more perfect for you is on his or her way. So there’s obviously no question that this is the way to go.
If you liked this post, you’ll love my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.
Looking for an ethical love spell? Way to go – good choice! Here are some to choose from:
5 Karma-Friendly Alternatives to Putting a Love Spell on Someone
Love Spell to Attract a Divine Partner
Simple Sandalwood and Rose Love Spell
Discover more from Tess Whitehurst
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Hi Tess,
How do I know if someone put a love spell on me. I know my ex would go see witches with his mom and get his cards read. I’ve been obsessing about him latetly. I should also add that I’m married. It’s been 6 years since we broke up, he’s always been reaching out to me. Messaging me from different Internet forums.
Jacklyn, I’m not getting that he put a spell on you, but you might want to do a spell to protect your energy, like spell #2 in this post: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-curses-and-hexes/
Hi Tess it’s Maria.
How do I know if someone put a curse on me .All my relationship Same to go good then they go bad. Currently in a relationship now. I feel like I should put a love spell to protect my relationship. That I am in now
Maria, it is not my sense that there is a curse on you, but it certainly won’t hurt to do a love spell in a responsible way. One idea would be the Best Possible Outcome Spell from this post (you don’t have to do it on Beltane) : https://tesswhitehurst.com/4-beltane-love-spells/
Hello again Tess. So many things has come across my mind and i am feel so unease these days. i haven’t been having a proper nights rest for the past few nights now. is there anything for mind relaxation or anything like that? i feel so stuck right now.
Hi Mila! There are a lot of resources on my blog. For example, you might start with this post: https://tesswhitehurst.com/9-crystals-that-help-you-sleep/ and also this post: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-spells-to-get-yourself-out-of-a-funk/. You can use the search feature on the right to browse other posts.
Hi Tess, I’ve come across your website I am looking for some kind of guidance, I have been with my boyfriend on and off since high school, so 11 years, when I was young and we had broken up I did some kind of love spell (I think). I didn’t think it had worked it took a long while, but eventually we got back together and everything had been great for 5-6 years straight, however just about a week ago he seems to be going through a lot of issues within himself and he was very moody and we were both stuck in a rut and taking each other for granted, so he’s now asked me for some space to work on himself with the hope that we take a break and come back to each other and get back to the way it once was, but he doesn’t know how he will feel at the end of the break, so does that mean that he’s having doubts about our relationship? So I decided to do a love spell 2 days ago to heal a relationship, involving liquid honey a piece of paper, ribbon and a small jar, I have just read your article about never doing love spells now I’m worried our relationship has been cursed for good. But I fear if I undo the spell he will not find his way back to me and I don’t want to be with anyone else. I just want us to go back to being in love and happy and grow old together. I don’t know what to do, any guidance would be very helpful as I’m so confused at the moment. Thanks x (sorry for long post)
Jennifer, I wouldn’t worry about the honey spell. Just release the honey into a moving body of water and recycle/dispose of the rest during the waning moon. Also do your best to release the outcome to the Universe and heal yourself and your heart. Finding comfort and balance on your own is the most healing possible thing you can do for your love life, and will help bring about the most ideal possible outcome. Sending love and every best wish your way.
Thank you for the reply, it has definitely given me the wake up call I needed to get my life together in order to better myself and our life as a couple. I will just have to be postive and hope he finds his way back to me and we can be in a better place. I just hope our relationship isn’t cursed because of my stupidity with these spells. Thank you
Sorry, I think I was rushing to ask my question. But what I want to know is how do I know for sure if someone has cast a spell on me. I had a reading done a few months ago and I was told that someone put a spell on me. Some kind of locked away spell which prevents me from being successful in life. I did some uplifting thingie which the lady helped me with. But lately I’ve been having dreams of a former lover. There was even a night when I dreamed that I went out with him for a while night and it felt really real. Then for some weird reason I also kept dreaming about being chased by Chucky and that he wanted to kill me. I’ve been very uneased lately and so I called the lady for a reading again. I am not sure, but I think I may have some inherited talents for being some kind of seer or healer. And I believe that like u say, u can’t always put spells on certain people and 1 of those reasons is if a person is born with a more powerful energy than yours, your spells can come back to you. Anyways back to the topic, the lady told me that an old flame has cast a love spell on me of some kind. It would make sense to why I’ve been dreaming of him lately. But how am I sure because I didn’t ask the lady on how to remove it.
Hi Mila! I just saw this second comment, but my response to your first comment still stands! Perhaps the Rose Overdose Cure will be most appropriate for your situation.
Thank you so much for the quick reply. i feel like i have so many questions. If you feel that i do not have any kind of hex or curse on me then it should be a good thing. i’ll probably try one of the cleansing that you have listed.