Protect Yourself from a Bully, Stalker, Dysfunctional Relative, Gaslighter, Critical Person, or Problematic Coworker with One of These Protection Spells
These protection spells are from my book, Little Guide to Protection Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Protection Spells.
Here are some spells and rituals to protect yourself in various situations. If you don’t find one that fits exactly with what you’re looking for, identify the one that resonates with you the most for your purpose and then adapt it to suit your needs. You can do that by changing the wording, visualization, and/or intention until it clicks for you.
Spell to Protect Yourself from a Bully, Stalker, or Otherwise Threatening Person
I’m going to put a commonsense caveat here: if you’re being harassed or threatened by someone, first make sure you’re doing everything possible in the physical world to keep yourself safe. For example, when necessary and appropriate, change your locks, install a security system, block the person on your phone and social media, and/or contact the police.
Next, if you have anything this person has given you in your home, whether it’s a note, a piece of furniture, or a bottle of per- fume, get it out (unless it is evidence or may be evidence in a future court case, in which case place it in a box, tape it closed, and put it in your garage, your basement, or a far corner of your closet). The point is, as much as possible, energetically remove this person from your home, or at least separate yourself from them so there is little resonance for them to latch onto. The same goes for your digital world: your inbox, text history, voicemails, etc. (Evidence can be placed in a folder or on a thumb drive to separate it somewhat from the rest of your online communications.)
Then you’re ready to perform this spell. It’s best to do it on a Tuesday, Saturday, or Sunday when the moon is in a fire sign (Aries, Leo, or Sagittarius) and between second quarter and full, but if it’s an emergency, just go ahead and do it anytime. (Information on lunar phases and signs can be readily found online or in a calendar or planner.)
Gather these items:
Summon the fiery presence of Archangel Michael by saying:
Archangel Michael, I call on you.
Pour the sunflower oil into the bottle until it’s about 1/2 to 3/4 full. Add the drops of frankincense essential oil. Close and shake gently to combine. Hold the bottle in both hands. Say:
Thank you for filling this oil with your fiery, protective light.
Envision the bottle filled and surrounded with Archangel Michael’s blinding brightness. Lightly anoint your forehead, heart, and belly with the oil. (If you have sensitive skin and you’re worried it might get irritated, you can just inhale the scent while imagining yourself enveloped in fiery light.) Say:
Thank you for surrounding me with a fiery wall of light and protecting me from all harm, physical, emotional, and spiritual.
Envision bright fire surrounding and protecting you. Say:
Archangel Michael, thank you.
After closing your circle, anoint the outside of your front door with a little of the oil, then do the same to each additional door or window that opens to the outside of your home. If you can move around your home in a circle from the outside, move clockwise. If you live in an apartment or duplex or this is oth- erwise impossible, it’s fine if you need to reenter your home in order to reach the outside of all windows and doors. And if you have additional floors, feel free to enter your home to reach windows and doors on those floors.
You can also anoint your car, your desk at work, and anything else you’d like to protect. You may like to carry the oil with you when you leave the house so you can refresh the magic as needed. Remember to call on Archangel Michael each time.
Spell to Protect Yourself from Overbearing or Dysfunctional Relatives
Before you magically protect yourself from a relative (or relatives), ask yourself:
- Have I tried speaking my truth?
- Is there an uncomfortable conversation I need to initiate with someone in order to honor myself in this situation?
- Have I set boundaries that feel right to me?
With relatives, it can be easy to assume that we know what they will say if we speak up about what we need. For example, you may have read the above questions and thought to yourself,
“No, because if I do, they’ll just say or do _______, and then I’ll feel _______.”
And you may be right! If you speak your truth, initiate an uncomfortable conversation, or set a healthy boundary, they may say or do exactly what you’re expecting them to say or do. Still, honoring yourself usually requires you to do this anyway. And who knows—they might surprise you! At any rate, once you’ve responsibly handled the situation by speaking up, you can decide if you want to move forward with working magic to protect yourself energetically or if you want to actually set a boundary, for example, by telling them you’re not going to visit anymore until you feel respected, listened to, or seen. (Or maybe you want to work magic and set a boundary.)
In some cases, you may need to have a conversation not with the challenging relative(s) but instead with a partner or loved one who seems to be pressuring you or expecting you to spend time with the relative. In all cases, listen deeply to the voice within you to determine what is true for you and how you can honor that truth. This is pretty much never fun, but it always results in you calling back your power, which feels great. So keep your eyes on the prize.
Now, after you’ve taken all of this into careful consideration, if you still feel the need to magically protect your energy from one or more overbearing or dysfunctional relatives, this spell is for you.
It’s simple: call on the Divine or a divine helper in any way that feels right to you. Then empower a black tourmaline (or piece of black tourmaline jewelry) with the intention to absorb any challenging energy coming your way from the family member(s), including any thoughts or expectations you don’t want to pick up on or internalize. Then carry or wear it as needed.
If you happen to have a family member who is not just challenging when you’re near them but you suspect is also draining or infringing on your energy from afar, simply carry or wear the tourmaline whether you’re near them or not. You can even sleep with it. In time, the dynamic will be healed and you will not need to do this anymore, especially if you have compassion for yourself, take care of yourself mentally and emotionally, and practice a clearing and shielding meditation daily.
Spell to Protect Yourself from a Gaslighter
The classic 1944 film Gaslight popularized the verb gaslighting, which means misleading someone by invalidating their feelings and/or attempting to convince them that they are crazy or wrong.
There are so many ways we can be gaslit by the people around us. Even the simple question “Why are you so angry?” can be loaded with disrespectful subtext, such as “What’s wrong with you?” and “A normal person would not be angered by this.”
Of course, it doesn’t hurt to examine yourself. For example, staying with the above example, if you were to silently ask yourself, “Yeah, why am I so angry?” you may find that you have some very good reasons to be angry. Or when you examine the source of your anger, you may discover that it’s related to something that happened in the past and not the present situation at all. Or the person asking you why you’re angry might genuinely not know the answer and is asking in order to understand you better. My point is that not all uncomfortable exchanges mean you’re being gaslit. But it can often be hard to tell, especially when the situation involves someone you spend a lot of time with or someone you esteem (or both).
If you’re not sure if you’re being gaslit, ask a friend or family member you trust to talk it out with you in person or on the phone. This can often bring a surprising amount of clarity. Then, if needed, perform this spell. It will help you recognize gaslighting and protect yourself from falling under its spell.
Here’s what you need:
Do this spell on a Sunday when the moon is waxing (between new and full). After casting your circle, hold the howlite in your right hand. Say:
Archangel Raphael, bring me clarity. Archangel Michael, bring me strength.
Wear the jewelry or slip the howlite in your pocket. Add the drops of rose geranium oil to the rose water. Close the mister and shake. Hold it in your left hand and say:
Archangel Raphael, fill me with clarity. Archangel Michael, fill me with strength.
Gently mist your aura by spraying around yourself 2–3 times. (Always use your discretion with essential oils if you have sensitive skin. If you don’t feel it’s wise to take the risk, you can simply open the bottle and waft it under your nose for a simi- lar effect.) Feel, imagine, and sense a bright, protective sphere of light around yourself.
On days when you know you will see or interact with the gaslighter (or suspected gaslighter), wear the howlite and mist yourself with (or inhale) the rose water potion. You can also visualize the sphere of light and repeat the angel invocations as desired (inwardly if needed).
Spell to Protect Yourself from a Critical Person
Is someone constantly criticizing you and it’s bringing you down? First, ask yourself if you would like out of that relationship and if it’s possible to end it. If the answer is yes to both, no need for a spell! Walk out the door and don’t look back.
If the answer is no to either or both of these questions, ask yourself if you’ve spoken up about this. Have you asked the person to stop? Have you shared with them how it makes you feel? Have you talked through the situation with a friend or spoken with an authority figure (such as a teacher or boss) who may be able to help? Protection magic is not an alternative to being assertive. It shouldn’t be a silent, passive-aggressive way of dealing with conflict. So as uncomfortable as it may be, a conversation may be in order. (If this feels absolutely impossible to you, it may be a deep-seated pattern that a therapist could help you out with. Frankly, I’d start there before attempting to magic your way out of the problem.)
If you have explored all of this and still feel you must spend time with a critical person and therefore need to protect yourself from them, go ahead and do this spell.
Here is all you need for this spell:
- An aura quartz (any color you feel drawn to)
Cast your circle. Hold your aura quartz in both hands. Call on the Divine in any way you like and speak words from your heart about the type of protection you’d like. How would you like to feel in this situation? In what ways would you like to be protected? Speak as if you are talking to someone who loves you very much and can help you in exactly the way you need, because you are doing exactly that.
Wear or carry the crystal for protection from this person as needed.
Spell to Protect Yourself at Work
This charm will protect you from negativity of all varieties at work. Do this spell on the day of the full moon (or one day before or after).
Gather these ingredients:
- A pendant with a charm depicting a hamsa, a mirrored tile, or an eye (You can choose a long chain for the pendant and wear it under your clothes if you don’t want anyone to see it.)
- A white cloth (napkin size is fine) or a white candle (if there’s no sunlight)
Before casting your circle, go outside and spread the white cloth in bright sunlight. Place the charm on top of the cloth and let it soak in the sun for a minute or two. (If there’s no sun on the day of your spell, warm the charm for a minute or two in the light of a white candle instead.)
Now cast your circle. Hold the pendant in both hands. Call on the Divine in a way that feels powerful for you and say:
Thank you for protecting me at work. Thank you for protecting my mind, body, spirit, and aura. Thank you for helping me to stay energized and positive, and thank you for deflecting any and all negativity straight back to its source. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Blessed be. And so it is.
Wear the charm at work.
If you liked these spells, you will love my book, Little Guide to Protection Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Protection Spells. In addition to lots more spells, it will give you a solid background in the dynamics of protection magic so you can feel safe and empowered for life.
Are you planning to try one of the spells in this post? Or do you have any questions about them? Please share your thoughts in the comments below. (Also, if you do try one, please come back and let me know how it went!)
You may also like 5 Simple and Powerful Protection Charms and Protecting Your Energy: What It Really Means (Video).