Are you thinking of magicking someone into loving you? Don’t! Here’s why you shouldn’t do a love spell on a specific person, and what to do instead.
“Whom you seek to imprison you do not love.”
~ A Course in Miracles
Look, I know it can be tempting.
But casting a love spell on a specific person is not only unethical, it will also very likely totally suck for you in the long run.
Of course, if you’re in the throes of limerence, it may be difficult to imagine what could possibly suck so much about the person you’re crushing on feeling the same way about you. Well then, let me paint you some pictures.
Do love spells work? Yes. And can you cast a love spell to attract someone awesome? Absolutely. But just don’t cast a love spell on a specific person.
Here’s why: ultimately, when you do a love spell on a specific person, there are no good outcomes. Rather, there are three main ways it could go very wrong.
(For everything you need to know about the dynamics of ethical and successful love magic, check out my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.)
The First Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
You know that what you send out energetically always comes back to you in some form, right? So in this scenario, when you cast the love spell, you cast it on yourself, too. That spell flies right back at you like a boomerang. So now, you both become magically, unnaturally obsessed with the other. Then you get into a really sticky, codependent, basically awful relationship. Maybe it involves violence. At the very least it involves emotional abuse, because overriding someone else’s free will is in itself a form of emotional abuse. So you put that in the mix when you did the spell, and now it’s there. And you’re stuck in the mire of that love spell like a swamp. Any healthy, fun, beautiful relationships you may have had aren’t even a possibility anymore, at least until you do some major magical damage control and extricate yourself from this mess. So don’t do it!
The Second Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
In this scenario, you cast a love spell on a specific person, and that person indeed appears to fall hopelessly in love with you. And…darn: now that they’re acting so foolish, they’re not attractive to you anymore. In addition to making this person miserable, now they also won’t leave you alone. Not to mention, as in scenario 1 (above), since you overrode some else’s free will by casting a spell on them, you’re going to have to deal with some karmic backlash.
The Third Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
The best case scenario, but still a bad one, is that you cast a spell on someone, and that unlucky someone successfully resists the magical pull to enter into a relationship with you. But your spell still boomerangs back and hits you, so you pine for this person much longer than you otherwise would have. You’ve now cast a spell of unhappiness on yourself. Until it wears off or the spell is successfully broken, this presents a challenge to your moods, your ability to focus, and any other romantic relationships you are (or may have otherwise been) involved with.
What to Do Instead of Casting a Love Spell on Someone
As I mentioned above, you can still do a love spell! Just not a love spell on a specific person.
You can’t go wrong when you do a spell to draw ideal romantic conditions and leave the actual person up to the universe. Because if the object of your affection happens to be an ideal partner for you right now, your spell might end up working on them after all! …But if it doesn’t, that just means someone even more perfect for you is on his or her way. So there’s obviously no question that this is the way to go.
If you liked this post, you’ll love my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.
Looking for an ethical love spell? Way to go – good choice! Here are some to choose from:
5 Karma-Friendly Alternatives to Putting a Love Spell on Someone
Love Spell to Attract a Divine Partner
Hey Tess! I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We have a son together. I’m in love with him and he says he loves me too. He is very particular about what I wear. He doesn’t want me to look too sexy & is always trying to get me to dress a certain way, yet he buys new things for himself. Anyway, I found out he is still trying to sleep with his exes. The exes tell me they don’t want him back & tell me to tell him to stop contacting them. He entertains women when I don’t have sex with him. I need some type of spell to remind him of why he pursued me & fell in love with me in the first place and for him to commit to me ONLY mentally and physically. Is there anything out there like that?
From the things you described, I think you know that what you need is not a love spell, but the courage to break up with this person. Here are some spells to bolster your self confidence so you will clearly see that you deserve a healthy relationship and not a toxic one: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-spells-to-get-yourself-out-of-a-funk/ and https://tesswhitehurst.com/9-ways-to-get-motivated-and-activate-your-magical-mojo/
I think my spouse put a love spell on me. No matter how bad he treats me, I can’t ever leave him, because I feel I love him too much. How do you love someone so much who is hateful, mean, controlling and in his mind, never wrong? I don’t know, but it has been going on for years! Everything he does and says breaks my Heart, but everytime I thinking a out leaving him, my heart breaks even more. We have an 8 year old daughter together. I also feel like someone (maybe him again) with an autoimmune disease, so I would be even more dependent on him. I am afraid and I don’t know what to do.
Chasity, I highly recommend talking to a therapist about this. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of the app called TalkSpace, but it can connect you with an affordable phone therapist (if price is an issue).
Hi Tess,
I love my boyfriend so much and I know he loves me he’s always there for me he’s a good person inside and out but he has a cheating problem I have broken up with him and he promised me he will get help he’s now seeing a counselor twice a week but I’m scared that he might cheat on me again I tried looking for love spells but after reading your posted that wouldn’t be a good idea can you please help me?
Dorothy, I suggest spell #2 from this post: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-putting-a-love-spell-on-someone/
Hi Tess,
I just turned into a wiccan a few weeks ago and need some help.In my last school that I moved away from, my friends always had someone to love and it made me jealous so I told them I had a crush on many guys I didn’t care about on the inside.Then this new kid came to my school and I instantly fell in love me my friend Lily and him would hangout all the time.when the last day there came I almost confessed but I couldn’t say anything.During the summer I cried so many times thinking about him.My friend and me met up and she told me he loved me.I wasn’t sure so I got so upset with myself and everything I put a love spell on him.After I did it I knew instantly something was wrong, so I tried to find a reverse spell,and then I found this please sent me a link or something for a reverse spell thank you
-Justin Hell (fake last name lol)
Justin, I suggest the Saltwater Cure from this post to reset your energy and to clear the energy between you and him: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-awesome-ways-to-break-a-hex-or-a-curse/
Thank you for making this but do you know a reverse spell i could use with no ingredients it would mean alot to me because I just started spells and was messing around and did a love spell on someone who already liked me and i realized that we don’t see each other often so often and he might be more depressed.Just email me if you know thanks for the help.
Hi Justin! This meditation could help. I suggest doing it every day for at least 28 days: https://tesswhitehurst.com/cord-cutting-meditation/