Are you thinking of magicking someone into loving you? Don’t! Here’s why you shouldn’t do a love spell on a specific person, and what to do instead.
“Whom you seek to imprison you do not love.”
~ A Course in Miracles
Look, I know it can be tempting.
But casting a love spell on a specific person is not only unethical, it will also very likely totally suck for you in the long run.
Of course, if you’re in the throes of limerence, it may be difficult to imagine what could possibly suck so much about the person you’re crushing on feeling the same way about you. Well then, let me paint you some pictures.
Do love spells work? Yes. And can you cast a love spell to attract someone awesome? Absolutely. But just don’t cast a love spell on a specific person.
Here’s why: ultimately, when you do a love spell on a specific person, there are no good outcomes. Rather, there are three main ways it could go very wrong.
(For everything you need to know about the dynamics of ethical and successful love magic, check out my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.)
The First Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
You know that what you send out energetically always comes back to you in some form, right? So in this scenario, when you cast the love spell, you cast it on yourself, too. That spell flies right back at you like a boomerang. So now, you both become magically, unnaturally obsessed with the other. Then you get into a really sticky, codependent, basically awful relationship. Maybe it involves violence. At the very least it involves emotional abuse, because overriding someone else’s free will is in itself a form of emotional abuse. So you put that in the mix when you did the spell, and now it’s there. And you’re stuck in the mire of that love spell like a swamp. Any healthy, fun, beautiful relationships you may have had aren’t even a possibility anymore, at least until you do some major magical damage control and extricate yourself from this mess. So don’t do it!
The Second Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
In this scenario, you cast a love spell on a specific person, and that person indeed appears to fall hopelessly in love with you. And…darn: now that they’re acting so foolish, they’re not attractive to you anymore. In addition to making this person miserable, now they also won’t leave you alone. Not to mention, as in scenario 1 (above), since you overrode some else’s free will by casting a spell on them, you’re going to have to deal with some karmic backlash.
The Third Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
The best case scenario, but still a bad one, is that you cast a spell on someone, and that unlucky someone successfully resists the magical pull to enter into a relationship with you. But your spell still boomerangs back and hits you, so you pine for this person much longer than you otherwise would have. You’ve now cast a spell of unhappiness on yourself. Until it wears off or the spell is successfully broken, this presents a challenge to your moods, your ability to focus, and any other romantic relationships you are (or may have otherwise been) involved with.
What to Do Instead of Casting a Love Spell on Someone
As I mentioned above, you can still do a love spell! Just not a love spell on a specific person.
You can’t go wrong when you do a spell to draw ideal romantic conditions and leave the actual person up to the universe. Because if the object of your affection happens to be an ideal partner for you right now, your spell might end up working on them after all! …But if it doesn’t, that just means someone even more perfect for you is on his or her way. So there’s obviously no question that this is the way to go.
If you liked this post, you’ll love my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.
Looking for an ethical love spell? Way to go – good choice! Here are some to choose from:
5 Karma-Friendly Alternatives to Putting a Love Spell on Someone
Love Spell to Attract a Divine Partner
Sorry, but love has nothing to do with free will.
You can not get rid of your love for an unworthy person even if you’re aware he/she is unworthy. Willpower can keep you from him/her, but it has no effect on your emotions.
Having the will to stay away also shows that love spell is not rape. Longing doesn’t mean you have to sleep with someone, or even hang out with them.
Same thing, you can not will yourself to fall for someone who ticks all (or most) your boxes.
Love is always magical.
Not to mention that so called natural love usually wears out (too). The number of divorces clearly shows that. The way I see it, you have nothing to lose. If it comes back to you, well, if you had really been in love, it would have last forever anyway. You can be miserable after having had a chance, or without it.
I wrote a spell wishing my ex should come back and commit,by watching one of the YouTube videos with a piece of paper and writing it five times and my name 7 times and enclosing it with come back to me written with out lifting my hand. But now I want to undo it and I am not happy about me forcing things. Please help me how do I undo this
Hi Deepika. Good choice! I suggest this spell: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-awesome-ways-to-break-a-hex-or-a-curse/ – do it with the intention to clear and reverse the spell. Along with it, eat 9 pistachios on each of the 12 days after sweeping your aura with the lemon.
I had some one to do a love spell on the guy I am with now I am feeling sad because I really want this man to love me on his own not by force, is there a chance this man could love me genuine on his own? am I curse because I did this? has anyone had a success story by doing a love spell or is everyone doomed. I thought it would help our relationship, I am terrified that I did this, I did not know this could hurt me for life.
Tracey, I suggest that you do the Rose Overdose cure from this post (on yourself) – https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-awesome-ways-to-break-a-hex-or-a-curse/. For the guy, I suggest you empower 14 pistachios in the light of the full moon. Then see if you can get him to eat one every day of the waning moon cycle. Pistachios help break love spells.
That spell actually worked with the paper?
Hello Tess!
So I’ve been reading this general section of your blog for a while now, because I’m in a bit of a mire. I realize I’m at the bit where I need to ask for guidance.
In past, I’ve experienced a true “twin flame” situation. Divine partner, whatever terminology suits your tastes most; he passed away years ago. That part, I’m at peace with. Death is as natural and necessary as life. However I’ve spent a lot, and I mean a LOT, of time and energy trying to reconstruct myself. Part of that process was dating again. I’ve been with a partner for a year who is a subjectively good man, although the dynamic has never been like the previous one. I’ve been asking myself a lot of hard questions about “is this enough.”
And then I met This Man. Technically I met him once months ago, but he quite literally dropped back into my life out of the blue. I hope it wasn’t just me having this experience, because to me the connection was POTENT. It was like watching an electrical storm. I stayed and talked with him so long that I missed my train. I immediately went home and checked my oracle cards, and suffice to say it was a very illuminating hour. I can’t help but feel like All That Is has just offered me a second chance (which you have no idea how much I’ve asked for). And now I’m petrified.
I sense that some sort of ritual is appropriate. However, since there is VERY CLEARLY a person rattling around in the back of my head, I’m nervous about stepping on his free will inadvertently. I’m worried that I’m just nuts and need to get back to reality. What sort of spellwork would you suggest to manifest the best possible outcome?
Your blog is wonderful, by the way. I’m genuinely impressed and touched that you’ve made yourself available to all these people in the comments. Thanks.
Hi Vicky! It sounds like some fun romance is happening for you! This spell is simple and elegant, and might fit what you’re looking for right now: https://tesswhitehurst.com/simple-sandalwood-and-rose-love-spell/
Hey Tess, some advice would be really appreciated. I’m currently in love with my best friend of four years. We recently started to become friends with benefits. I was fine with this because I thought that was his way of saying he liked me romantically but was not ready for a relationship, & maybe one day he would be ready and love me and be my lover. Turns out while this was happening he was pursuing a relationship with another girl he liked. He only views me as a friend he’s down to sleep with. I have been in love with him for three years and I don’t know what to do… I love him so much and I can’t escape him. I want him to still be my best friend but if I could just get over him or if he would just love me back everything would be fine… I don’t know what to do, I’m young & dumb & desperate. Please help
Molly, I suggest that you stop sleeping with him and work magic to activate romantic attention. Then go out in the world and have fun flirting with and meeting other people. Go ahead and stay friends with this guy if you want, but take this opportunity to play the field in a fun way. Then see what happens with the relationship with the friend, as well as your feelings about him. Here are some spells you may find helpful for this. Spell #3 from this post – https://tesswhitehurst.com/3-spells-from-my-new-book/. Spell #3 from this post: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-putting-a-love-spell-on-someone/.
I think my ex put a love spell on me.She would always put her hand over my heart and just lay beside me with her eyes closed,when I ask her what she was doin shed just smile and say”nothing” do you think I’ve been put under a spell and how do I break this horrible feeling I have without her?
Hi Koji. It’s my sense that she was just connecting with your heart energy and not putting a spell on you. To help heal and release this old relationship, I suggest doing this meditation for at least 7 days in a row: https://tesswhitehurst.com/cord-cutting-meditation/
Hi TessI am 25 years old and I got rejected by a girl 2 years and 9 months ago and it has ruined my life.I was left absolutely devastated and I pracceded to drink heavely at teh weekends and up to this day.I am not a alcoholic and also since the rejection I have completely given up on life and am constantly sad and beating myself up because I know I should have been given a chance with her.It breaks my heart and its eating me.Also since she rejected me I have let myself go.I dont eat healthy anymore and sleep a lot and eat junk food a lot and when ever and I have gained nearly 3 stone.We only spoke about 2 times and she hates me not and refuses to look at me.I just feel like crying and get a physical and melting pain in my stomach and chest if I see her or imagine being with her.I am so sad and upset I just wish the world could have given me a chance for her to get to know me before she decided to reject me.Anyway a few weeks ago I paid 3 spell casters to make her love me and nothing has happened.Can anyone help me?
Hi David. I’m really sorry to hear about the pain you’ve been feeling. It may sound boring compared to love spells, but to start you in a more positive direction, I highly suggest clearing all the clutter in your home, clearing the space, and doing a cord cutting meditation every day for 7 days. Here are some posts that will help: https://tesswhitehurst.com/cord-cutting-meditation/ and https://tesswhitehurst.com/how-to-clear-the-energy-in-your-home-in-5-simple-steps/