Are you thinking of magicking someone into loving you? Don’t! Here’s why you shouldn’t do a love spell on a specific person, and what to do instead.
“Whom you seek to imprison you do not love.”
~ A Course in Miracles
Look, I know it can be tempting.
But casting a love spell on a specific person is not only unethical, it will also very likely totally suck for you in the long run.
Of course, if you’re in the throes of limerence, it may be difficult to imagine what could possibly suck so much about the person you’re crushing on feeling the same way about you. Well then, let me paint you some pictures.
Do love spells work? Yes. And can you cast a love spell to attract someone awesome? Absolutely. But just don’t cast a love spell on a specific person.
Here’s why: ultimately, when you do a love spell on a specific person, there are no good outcomes. Rather, there are three main ways it could go very wrong.
(For everything you need to know about the dynamics of ethical and successful love magic, check out my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.)
The First Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
You know that what you send out energetically always comes back to you in some form, right? So in this scenario, when you cast the love spell, you cast it on yourself, too. That spell flies right back at you like a boomerang. So now, you both become magically, unnaturally obsessed with the other. Then you get into a really sticky, codependent, basically awful relationship. Maybe it involves violence. At the very least it involves emotional abuse, because overriding someone else’s free will is in itself a form of emotional abuse. So you put that in the mix when you did the spell, and now it’s there. And you’re stuck in the mire of that love spell like a swamp. Any healthy, fun, beautiful relationships you may have had aren’t even a possibility anymore, at least until you do some major magical damage control and extricate yourself from this mess. So don’t do it!
The Second Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
In this scenario, you cast a love spell on a specific person, and that person indeed appears to fall hopelessly in love with you. And…darn: now that they’re acting so foolish, they’re not attractive to you anymore. In addition to making this person miserable, now they also won’t leave you alone. Not to mention, as in scenario 1 (above), since you overrode some else’s free will by casting a spell on them, you’re going to have to deal with some karmic backlash.
The Third Way a Love Spell Could Go Wrong
The best case scenario, but still a bad one, is that you cast a spell on someone, and that unlucky someone successfully resists the magical pull to enter into a relationship with you. But your spell still boomerangs back and hits you, so you pine for this person much longer than you otherwise would have. You’ve now cast a spell of unhappiness on yourself. Until it wears off or the spell is successfully broken, this presents a challenge to your moods, your ability to focus, and any other romantic relationships you are (or may have otherwise been) involved with.
What to Do Instead of Casting a Love Spell on Someone
As I mentioned above, you can still do a love spell! Just not a love spell on a specific person.
You can’t go wrong when you do a spell to draw ideal romantic conditions and leave the actual person up to the universe. Because if the object of your affection happens to be an ideal partner for you right now, your spell might end up working on them after all! …But if it doesn’t, that just means someone even more perfect for you is on his or her way. So there’s obviously no question that this is the way to go.
If you liked this post, you’ll love my book, Little Guide to Love Magic: Everything You Need to Know, Including Love Spells.
Looking for an ethical love spell? Way to go – good choice! Here are some to choose from:
5 Karma-Friendly Alternatives to Putting a Love Spell on Someone
Love Spell to Attract a Divine Partner
Hi Tess,
My bf of 12 years, who loves me dearly and wanted to marry me. All of a sudden he changed. Pushing me away. I found out that a girl put a love spell on him. I have talked to spiritual advisors, they all say they will cleanse. But I haven’t gotten any luck because they just want money. How can I break the spell that is put in him? If I tell him, he won’t believe it. Despite being under spell he keeps being drawn back to me. Please help
Nancy, I suggest spell #3 from this post, done with the intention to neutralize all power over your relationship: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-curses-and-hexes/
What if I don’t know the name of person doing it? Is there alternative why to cleanse my bf without him knowing? And how do I dispose the jar after if I end up doing that?
Then what kind of spell can I do on a specific person , that won’t harm me or him in a emotionally or physically way ?
Jasmin, any of these spells will be fine: https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-karma-friendly-alternatives-to-putting-a-love-spell-on-someone/
My ex dumped me less than 2 hours after telling me he was in this for the long-hail and less than a week before my birthday and a week after he told me he was in love with me for the first time. Needless to say it was a total shock. It was at first supposed to be a break and I was feeling a lot of anger so I did a honey jar spell not only for him but also for me – so we could both feel positive towards each other. I did so because numerous rituals showed me that he is my Twin Flame. And my spell that I wrote for it was specifically for us to use the space wisely to grow and become our highest selves and if it’s meant to be then find each other.
He started to get very distant and unceremoniously changed it into a breakup, but said he wanted to be my friend but I felt he wasn’t even being a very good friend and that it was unrealistic to just be friends. We were long-distance too, so I don’t know if that effects anything. I blessed the jar twice a day and had a candle lit over it (different ones I charged) for 24 days straight. The longer I held on the more pain I was in so I decided when I was leaving Los Angeles to go to New York for 5 weeks that I would snuff out the candle, put it in a jar and leave it and see how that effected things. The last I heard from him was the day I snuffed out the candle and put the jar away and since then he’s not been following my social media or reaching out at all.
It broke my heart so I decided it was best to not reach out to him at all, distance myself, and do my best to stop looking at his social media. I also did a cord cutting ceremony.
But what I’m wondering is, is the ceremony effective if the jar still exists? Do I need to dismantle the jar when I get back?
I would like for us to always think fondly of each other no matter what happens. I’m not opposed to leaving the door open for something to happen but ONLY if it were brand new and could be legitimately healthy. We share a lot of mutual friends so I really want things to remain positive. So wondering how that can be possible while also completely cutting the cord and moving on with my life and healing fully so I can find and have the relationship I deserve.
Hi there! No, you don’t need to dismantle the jar. Just keep meditating as well as clearing and shielding your energy and taking super good care of yourself. Everything will work itself out for everyone’s highest good, and you’ll emerge stronger & wiser than you otherwise could have been.
hi, this happened to my husband and I. years ago someone cast a spell to break up our marriage and cast love spells for years on my husband… at the time I knew something was wrong, I am an empath I started to have visions of my husband with another woman I never meet. turns out she was a friend of someone who I thought was a friend for 34 years.. the woman in question. no lie she is 400lb. and looks like shes in her 70`s and is so ugly and her eyes both are crossed she is 53 she uses black magic. he thought she looked 40 and was 200lb. hes not even attracted to a woman that looks like that. when I would tell him what I was seeing we would really fight bad. to the point that we seperated. it tore us apart and we are and have been heart broken that this happened to us.. he entered into an 7 to 8 month relationship with her. we lost everything.. he gave her so many thing that belonged to me his mother and mine. she destroyed our credit our marriage. I had to use magic to brake her spells. I am also a born witch and I was binded by my Mom when I was 5 because I did something wrong. when she died all sorts of happened still is.. so I was able to get my husband back and I have to protect us and our family everyday. we are still homeless living in a motel that we can`t even pay for the man is upset with us but won`t throw us out for some reason. our business is destroyed. he only makes enough to get food and pay 2 bills.. I can`t find a job.. he has stomach problems bad.. things are still crazy. my husband and I still threw all this love each other the way we did since I was 14 and he was 15. we are still in love and I never used magic in him… for you woman out there who think oh I love him he belongs with me and he is married to someone else and is in love with his wife . you have no right to think you can brake a family apart and 2 people who love each other. and no right to do that or do it to any man.. I was born into magic and I was taught the dangers even tho I was bined. people who where not born to the craft have no idea of the dangers especially of Black magic.. I was born to both I can do both with ease, I choose to be good. black magic is enticing. people don`t think when you play you get burned..people who weren’t born to be a witch should not use it because they really don`t know what they are doing, unless they have done the research.the 2 woman that did this to us still think they can`t take away someones free will..or there memory.they think its a game.. and because of there game they destroyed our marriage our five children and our grandchildren’s lives. all because they are both in love with my husband and are jealous of my beauty.. and wanted to kill me. attached an entity to me that I had to have an exersum by the catholic church. so you woman who are selfish and want to have a man at any cost. think twice. please….. it is not a game… they had no Idea what I was I was, always told I had to keep secret who I was my husband never knew.. one of my sons did, because my abilities where passed to him. its sad lives destroyed over selfishness and jealousy.. I hope that people understand what I am saying and not take offence. think about it being done to you before you do it to someone else….. I am writing a book on our story.. sorry it was so long it would have been longer if I explained everything this is just the jist. Bless it be
Hi Kimberly,
How did you manage to remove the spell? A woman has taken my husband away from me just like this. All because she wants money and nothing else. The only reason she won’t take it all and kill him is because I have a court case against him and she knows she’ll be suspected. I think she did the spell nearly 4 years ago and keeps renewing it. My husband hates me for no reason. And totally ignores our child.